False Pretense
by TheDoublemintTwins11
Summary: Luffy dies in a freak accident.What happens when, Three months later, Zoro recives a phone call from the very person he thought he'd never hear from again?
1. Chapter 1

**I dedicate this story to two people. First off, I want to dedicate it to T. You're a great friend. And second, I wanna dedicate it to chibimaniak6916. I love your stories, I **_**really**_** do, and after following them for a while I decided to write a story of my own. **

False Pretense 1

"You wanna go to the movies?" He paused, waiting for a response that wouldn't come. Sanji squinted through the dark, two room apartment, which in this case was much too large to hold what few belongings his friend Zoro owned.

It didn't make much sense, really. Zoro was freaking loaded (for a kid that was about to go into college); when his dad died he inherited fifty grand, and since he was the only person in _their_ will, he had inherited everything from them as well, which was roughly worth one hundred fifty grand. What few things Zoro had wanted to keep he had moved to a storage garage (The key to which he wore around his neck), and the rest, was here.

The content of the room consisted of a queen sized bed and a blanket with one pillow, an old microwave, a refrigerator of the like, a toilet and shower with only the essentials in toiletries, a mobile phone that he never put down, and a small, dim lamp sitting on the floor in the corner, slightly chipped but working none the less. He also had a card table with two chairs sitting in the middle of the room. Everything else had been sold after the accident; then again, a lot of things had changed after the accident.

Three months. It's been exactly three months since he passed away… _they_ passed away. Sanji, Nami, Usopp; they had taken it pretty bad, but Zoro, was definitely worse off.

After he had sold most of his belongings, things had only gotten worse. The windows had been boarded over; the light bulbs unscrewed save for that one little lamp, so dim that the other end of the room was plunged into darkness. When they'd asked him, he'd told them that _they_ weren't getting much light, either. Sanji often had to remind him to eat, and even then he had been rapidly dropping weight. He hardly ever slept. Some nights, when they left him, sitting alone in the corner, he would still be there the next morning in the exact same position. He had hardly ever left the apartment these entire three months, and they knew that he wasn't going to accept their invitations.

Some days he would be fine, and he would chat away without a care in the world, maybe even go to a movie. But other days he was so detached that it was almost creepy, and, of course tomorrow was the anniversary, so it was to be expected.

"How about we go to the skate park?" Nami suggested. Yet again, ignored.

They'd tried to help him, but Zoro was so depressed. Every time someone had tried to comfort him, he'd just shut them out. At first they'd tried hiring just about every therapist in Rouge Town, but he'd never said a word to them, some he wouldn't even let in. In fact, Zoro had never cried, not at the funeral, not at home. It must be painful to bottle it all up and hold it in, show no weakness. She herself had cried for weeks after she heard the news.

Even now it was gnawing at her, tugging at her gut, leaving a knot in her throat. Luffy was dead, and nothing was bringing him back. At least she had had a shoulder to cry on; Sanji had been there for her whenever she needed him. Luffy _was_ Zoro's shoulder. Of course he enjoyed the company, in fact, if they didn't come by every other day he would probably be a lot worse off; even if he hardly ever acknowledged them, never made eye contact, just knowing they were there was enough.

With them around Zoro knew he wouldn't just disappear. The world didn't need him; it didn't need anyone. If it did, time would have stopped right then, the day Luffy died. But no, time moved on, the sun rose and set, just like normal. Waves crashed against the shore and crickets sang; time didn't stop for anyone, so who's to say someone couldn't just disappear? No one would notice no one would care; humans are unnecessary beings. The world turns, people forget, graves erode, and soon that person never existed at all.

"Well, how about we all go over to my place?" Usopp suggested. "I just bought a PS3." Zoro didn't even blink, just continued playing Solitaire on the bed. Usopp sighed. "Zoro, it's been almost three months, and I don't expect you to be near getting over it, but this is ridiculous! People are worried, Zoro, _we're _worried. You need to get back on your feet, or you'll never recover. You haven't visited him at all…" Zoro was hit by a pang of guilt, but he didn't show it. Usopp shook his head sadly.

"Well, it's an open invitation."

The curly-haired boy turned, exiting the room with Sanji quickly following suit. Nami heaved a sigh, hopped from her perch on the table, and scurried after them. Turning as she reached the door, she looked as if she wanted to say something, but grabbed the door and pulled it shut instead.

She was gone, the door clicking softly behind her; Zoro was alone. Scooping up the cards, he shuffled the deck several times before re-covering them and slipping them into his pocket.

He rolled onto his back and proceeded to stare at the ceiling. It seemed like it was so long ago. Even now, after only three months, he had already begun to forget their voices, their faces. Why did this have to happen? They had offered to bring him too. He should have gone with, then maybe things would have been different! Zoro had been a man of faith, but that was so long ago that it seemed like he was a different person. Before his adoptive father had been 'accepted' into an institution for the criminally insane when he was 10 years old and died three years later, before his sister ran off when he was 15, before this.

He and Luffy had just recently graduated from Rouge Town high; they'd had everything going for them. Luffy had graduated at the top of his class. Zoro had received a football scholarship to the prestigious Grand Line University (GLU). Luffy got a small, three thousand dollar scholarship, which hadn't mattered; Shanks and Makino weren't poor.

The three had been going on vacation as a celebration for Luffy's achievements. It was a foggy night and visibility was low. There was a man driving drunk on the wrong side of the road and Shanks hadn't seen him until the last minute. Swerving to avoid the car, they ran through the guardrail. The car plunged into the icy waters of the Red Line; later analysis revealed that they were dead before they hit the water.

The bodied were mangled; the experts had to identify them via clothes and the car's license plate. They had decided that that a closed-coffin funeral would be best.

He yawned and slowly closed his eyes.

"We're lost aren't we?" Makino questioned.

"No, we are not lost; I know exactly where I am going. This is… uh… the scenic route." Shanks replied sheepishly.

"Scenic? Shanks, it's so foggy, you can barely see the road; we can't see the scenery."

"Yes, that's true, but when it clears up you'll _thank_ me." Shanks replied to his wife with a smirk. Zoro sat in the back seat of the Cadillac, Luffy sitting next to him staring out the window while Shanks and Makino discussed which exit to take next. Declaring that exit 71 was the best way to go; they drove in silence for several minutes.

"So… Luffy, where ya going for college?" Zoro asked awkwardly; he already knew the answer, but the car was too quiet and conversation was good. He sat waiting for a reply, but the other passengers ignored him completely as if he hadn't spoken. After another minute or so, Shanks twisted around in his seat to face Luffy.

"Have you applied to any colleges yet?" Shanks asked idly.

"Oi, I just asked that, and you didn't-"

"Ya, I'm planning on going to Grand Line University." Luffy replied, cutting Zoro off mid-sentence. The two began chatting, ignoring Zoro's attempts to make them include him in the conversation. Giving an irritated grunt, Zoro gave up on the two and turned his attention towards the window.

"Car." Zoro stated, but Shanks continued to ignore him. "Hey, Shanks, there's a car coming… Shanks!"

"Look out!" Makino shrieked. Shanks jerked his head up, pulling the steering wheel reflexively to the right and driving the Cadi straight into the guardrail. Tires screamed as the car lurched forward, jerking its passengers violently as the car began a nosedive towards the water.

Greasy fingers of nausea slithered through Zoro's stomach as the car animatedly drifted towards the murky depth below, as if traveling in slow motion. Zoro couldn't scream, couldn't think, and was entirely set upon one, sole, thing. The fact of the matter was, they were going to die.

As they plunged into the water, cracks began to spider across the windshield; most likely from both the impact and the added pressure from being underwater. All at once the window exploded inward and the car began to rapidly flood. Zoro gasped; instinctively squeezing his eyes shut and holding his breath, only to find that he could breathe normally and was entirely dry, untouched by the water. The other passenger's weren't so lucky, however, they were struggling to free themselves from the vehicle.

Zoro tried to reach them, to pull them over to where he was sitting, dry and safe, but his vision began to blur, and their image began to fade. He cried out in frustration, vainly trying to grab his friend at a last minute attempt to save him. He blacked out.

Zoro woke in cold sweat, breathing heavily, still unnerved from seeing his friend suffering. He blinked twice, before sighing deeply. It was just a dream; he had had the same one so many times that it seemed more like a vivid memory than anything else, but still it raised so many questions. Had they really died upon impact? That's what the experts say, but they had been wrong before. Did the car flood or did they just run out of oxygen? Were they even conscious? Was it painful? And of course, the question he was considering constantly: Why? He tried to calm the swarming bees of his mind; they must have felt terrified and alone, or at least that's how he reacted in his dreams.

Zoro's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a phone ringing. What time was it…about nine am? He sighed, reached into his pocket, and pulled the phone out.

"Hello?"

"Zoro? It's Luffy."

**Review if you like, please. **

**Co-authored by Jesse and Jenna**


	2. Chapter 2

**Pink Shimmer: I realize that I told you it would make sense, but they always say that problems have to get worse before they get better. **

**Still dedicating to Chibi-san, even if she never reads it! P**

False Pretense 2

Usopp sat erect in his chair, typing rapidly on a laptop angled towards him on his desk. Papers were strewn in an unorganized fashion around him, along with other office supplies such as paper clips, whiteout, staplers, and the like. Tacked to the bulletin board behind his desk were various notes to himself, past deadlines that he had failed to discard, a picture of Zoro, Nami, Sanji, Luffy, and himself on graduation day, and articles he had written for the Daily Rouge, the most popular newspaper in Rouge Town. It virtually flew off of the shelves at the news stands positioned on every other corner.

He was a crime reporter, a crime reporter with a deadline, currently writing an article about the various gangs that had sprung up around Rouge Town over the past year.

_There are more than ten…no, twenty various gangs in East Rouge Town alone._ He paused, the voice of his editor ringing in his ears:

"Usopp, if you lie again you'll be demoted. An office like that is a privilege, don't screw it up."

He though for a moment before resuming his typing.

_Half of which have not yet revealed themselves to the public._ Ya, that's good! He paused to glance around the office looking for inspiration. It wasn't much, but he was lucky to have a private office of his own instead of a measly cubicle, where trouble-making employees would throw wadded up papers into random, unsuspecting workers' offices, who were simply trying to get something done before returning home to a nagging wife, or rowdy kids.

He had a particle board desk, old and chipping, for it had been used several times over the years before Usopp got his hands on it. On the ceiling were old florescent lights that flickered so much he half-expected them to burn out completely. In fact, the only thing in the entire room that was in relatively good condition was the laptop, which he had spent a good $1000 on, and his nice, comfy chair, which he had brought from home.

It was tyrannous people like his editor Kuro that got nice offices with real mahogany desks and office supplies of the like. He had an all-in-one scanner, fax machine, and printer in the corner, but that went on the fritz constantly, and who had to fix it? Usopp did. At least it was a nice quiet room, where he could just sit and think.

He took a swig of the half empty 24 oz. Coke on his desk before diving into his work again. The buttons clicked softly as his fingers danced over the keyboard, and minutes folded over into more minutes until they had melded to a point where time seemed inexistent. So engrossed was he in his work, when the desk phone first rang he didn't even hear it, and when he did hear it he simply shrugged it off. He was on a roll, so he would let the machine get it. He only half acknowledged the machine as it repeated the recorded message that is, until Nami's voice, shaken and distressed as though she'd been crying, caught his full attention.

"Usopp? It's Nami. Sanji and I are over at Zoro's apartment. If you're there you need to come over here as quickly as possible. It's important." The receiver on the other end of the line clicked softly and the number of messages silently switched from zero to one.

Usopp paused before sliding back on the plastic mat beneath his office chair, leaving his computer on, deadline forgotten. He leapt from his seat and rushed out the door, the cursor blinking halfway through a sentence. Sprinting down the hall, he disregarded the various 'Hey Usopp, what's wrong?' and other concerned comments as he headed through the double doors and past the front desk, where the very attractive Miss Kaya, of whom he had a minute crush on, looked up startled from her magazine. Kaya quickly tucked it under her desk, silently praying that it wasn't her boss come to catch her lazing around on the job. Relief flashed through her eyes as she realized it was only Usopp. The relief quickly turned to worry as he rushed towards the door without so much as a hello.

"Usopp-san, where are you going?" Without so much as a glance he pushed through the revolving doors and was quickly enveloped in darkness as he stepped into the parking lot. Usopp ran to his car, an old '65 Mustang painted a deep navy-blue. It was in generally good condition, but he realized that the lock on the drivers-side door was yet again stuck and ran around to slip in on the passenger side. He didn't know why he was rushing, but the tone in Nami's voice when she told him to get over there quickly was reason enough to hijack a car, if it was the fastest way to get across town.

He slid the key into the ignition and twisted it quickly, groaning as the engine choked, but didn't catch. After his third try the car sputtered to life and he pulled out of the lot, leaving perfect skid marks on the freshly laid pavement. Racing down the road, Usopp stayed a good five miles over the speed limit, barley making a yellow light and totally blowing off a red one. It's not like there was traffic, it was what, 1:23 in the morning? Wait, what the hell did Nami need at 1:23?! At this thought he made a quick and illegal turn without so much as slowing down. In fact, he sped up, now going a good ten miles over the limit. That was the great thing about breaking the law in Rouge Town: you almost never got caught for the minor stuff, because the cops were so busy with things like gang wars and murders.

He pulled off Main Street and onto 10th, now only a few blocks from Zoro's apartment. At this distance he could see the flashing red and blue lights of the police cars and clearly hear sirens which naturally made him speed up even more. He made a sharp turn into the parking lot, the soft gravel causing him to fishtail sideways and stop at an awkward angle. Like a glove… sorta.

Usopp leapt from his car and bolted up the sidewalk, ducking under the police tape and pulling open the door. Several officers looked up from their work, and one stepped forward.

"I'm sorry sir, only authorized personnel and close friends at the moment." He apologized, quite insincerely.

"What happened?!" Usopp asked, alarmed.

"I'm sorry sir, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave." He stated again, even less sincerely, and now slightly irritated.

"Is it Zoro?" The man look confused for a moment, before his official attitude returned.

"What relation do you have with the victim?"

"You know what? Just fuck you, I'm going upstairs." Now, any other time he would never even dream of _thinking_ about considering talking to an officer that way, but under these circumstances he found himself pushing past the man and jogging up the steps.

Usopp tried the knob, found it locked, and grabbed the key from under the flower pot. There were three things that he initially noticed when he pushed open the door: a sort of coppery, metallic scent you could only link to blood, a dark crimson lining the walls, and the muffled sound of Nami's crying drifting through the room.

Nami didn't even look up, just continued crying as Sanji looked up with solemn eyes, confirming what Usopp had already suspected.

Zoro was dead.

The idea of it hit him like a physical blow, and forced him to turn away from Sanji's heartbreaking stare, which he regretted immediately as he stared, horrified, at the crimson lettering written on the wall.

_I should have been there. It wasn't fair. It should have been me._

_I should have been there. It wasn't fair. It should have been me. _

_I should have been there. It wasn't fair. It should have been me. _

_I should have been there. It wasn't fair. It should have been me. _

_I should have been there. It wasn't fair. It should have been me. _

_I should have been there. It wasn't fair. It should have been me…_

The message just kept repeating, over and over, from ceiling to floor, that same message. It sent chills down the hollow of his spine and he turned away, shuddering as another, much more level headed officer than the one he had encountered on the first floor, stepped up to him.

"Eye witnesses reported a green-haired man fitting the description of your friend jumping off of the bridge and into the Red Line. When we sent a squad over we found a pair of black shoes and a bandana tied around the newly repaired guardrail, same spot your friends went over a couple months ago…We're planning on dragging the river tomorrow morning, although by now the body would probably be a couple hundred feet down river." Usopp looked at him with a mixture of disgust and outrage so intense that it made the officer blink; realizing that although he encountered things like this every day, a normal civilian would find it disturbing.

"How could you even _say_ something like that so casually? Is this just another job to you? Another paycheck? HUH?! You know what? Just get out of here, I don't wanna hear it!" Usopp shouted, venting his frustration. The officer looked at him with a mix of sympathy and pity, placing a hand on his shoulder. Usopp jerked away from his touch and turned, silent sobs wracking his body.

To say the apartment was trashed would be an understatement. It was devastating. The lamp sat in the middle of the floor, shattered, surrounded by various articles of clothing, which had been virtually shredded, and trash, which was strewn across the floor in a haphazard way. A knife, the tip stained with crimson, was stabbed into the wall, straight through the face of a smiling marimo in the same picture Usopp had in his office, aside from the fact that the Luffy had been cut from this copy three months ago.

The covers had been ripped from the bed and hurled across the room, and a phone book, which he was positive hadn't been there when he visited last, had been ripped into microscopic shreds and spread around the room as though a tornado had raged, so that the only untouched area of the room was a perfect square around a bright orange purse, with a mikan and the word 'Tangy' etched across the side. In any other situation, it would have been amusing that, even in his last moments, Zoro hadn't dared touch Nami's money, but it only caused the hollow feeling in his stomach to grow.

Realizing that at this point all Usopp needed was a little time alone; the officer abruptly turned to the blonde, who was vainly trying to comfort a sobbing Nami.

"Why is it, might I ask, that you came here at one in the morning?" the officer questioned. Nami blinked.

"You c-can't possibly think that we have something to do with t-this." She choked out, blotting at her eyes with her sleeve, and then frowning at the mascara smudged along it. Sanji regarded him with piercing eyes, but remained silent.

"Well, no. I was just… It's my job to ask, ma'am." The officer replied dumbly. Nami blinked and sniffled one more time before replying.

"W-well, I forgot my purse our last visit, a-and Zoro's usually up at this hour so-"

"That purse?" He asked, pointing to the untouched object on the floor.

"No, the _other_ purse." She spat, irritated by his interruption. Usopp chuckled sadly and the officer quickly apologized and negged her on.

"Well anyway, Zoro's usually up at this hour, so we decided to come by and get it, and the door was unlocked, so…" She began wailing again, and buried her face in Sanji's chest. He pulled a small notepad from his back pocket, quickly jotted down what he had heard before returning it the same pocket.

"I see… Well, we've got one more matter to attend to." The officer said, glancing at his watch. "Tomorrow we'll need to be discussing the matter of the will."

**Lol, it looks to my like Nami is a 'bawl your eyes out' mourner, Sanji is a 'Stay real quiet but stare at you with those horrible, pained eyes' mourner, and Usopp is a 'Get mad at the police for mispronouncing his late friends middle name' kinda mourner. I kinda made myself sad in this one TT don't worry though! There's a happy ending, and if it doesn't make sense now, keep reading. It will soon! **


	3. Chapter 3

False Pretense 3 

_One day earlier_

"Zoro? It's Luffy." The voice was soft, almost a whisper, yet it held a note of eager sincerity. None the less the sheer disregard for all emotion behind it was enough to anger the teen on the other end of the line explicitly.

"Who is this? You think this is funny!" there was no answer other than the faint sound of the song _False Pretense_ by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus playing in the background, so Zoro trudged on, "It's not! You have no idea!" He paused, still nothing. "Who is this?" he repeated, gaining confidence from the caller's silence.

"It's Luffy, how ya been, Zoro?" replied the mystery caller, before falling silent again, obviously waiting for a response. All self-assurance built up before was lost at this point. Suddenly the callers silence wasn't nearly as empowering.

"Haven't you heard? Luffy's _dead_." He chuckled humorlessly "Has been for a few months now."

"I'm not dead, Zoro, I can't explain now, I can't trust phones. But it really is me, I can prove it."

"No you can't". Zoro stated sharply.

"Look Zoro, it's too late. Now that I contacted you there isn't a choice in the matter. You have to trust me or you'll be dead by the end of the week. I am so not kidding.

"Are you threatening me?"

"Not at all, just the opposite actually"

"I could call the police"

"If you do then you're destroying your only lifeline."

"Quit playing games, it's not funny."

"It's not a game; you have to trust me Zoro, if you don't then you're screwed. Consider that before answering." Zoro said nothing in response, so the speaker trudged on: "I thought we said that we would trust each other no matter what. Remember that? Back when we were still in junior high you and I went down to the river together. We said that no matter what we would trust each other enough that we would die if it was for a good cause. Do you still trust me, Zoro?"

He pause waiting for a response and for a moment, it seemed as if the line had gone dead. Finally, Zoro replied: "Always"

"Cool. Have you ever been to the Spider Café? Their fishcakes are _really_ good, especially with tartar sauce." Zoro smiled wryly and shook his head at the spontaneous comment, he's always thinking of food. "Swo anyway, I hawven't tawlked to chew in a while."

"Hold on a sec, are you eating something?" Figures.

"Huh? Oh yaw, potato chips! Yah want some?"

"…"

"Hahaha, oh ya, I'm on da phwone…"

"Don't talk with your mouth full, I can't understand you." Zoro rolled his eyes as he heard Luffy fishing around in the bag. He sat patiently, waiting as Luffy was surely shoving the remainder of the chips into his mouth before continuing. "One thing I don't get, Luffy, how… are you… you know, here?"

"Where? On the phone?"

"No, I mean… not dead?"

"Well Zoro, when a man loves a woman very much" began Luffy.

"Shut up, you know what I meant!"

Luffy laughed, "Sorry, couldn't resist."

"Oh, and I already told you I don't trust phones. I'll set up a meeting or something. We'll get it figure-" Before he could finish the promise and alarm keened on the other end of the line causing Luffy to cry out in shock.

"What? What's wrong?" Zoro worried.

"Oh, heh, I wasn't watching where I was going, and I ran into a car. A really nice one too, a black ford explorer. I would love a car like that… Oh! Or a Dodge Ram! A red one! That'd be cool. A lot more practical than a Porsche or a Hummer, huh?"

"Luffy you still haven't told me how-"

"Oh CRAP! I hope that was there before! Okay, crossing the street, crossing… Zoro, pretend like we're talking."

"We _are_ talking, Luffy."

"Ya, that's good, roll with it."

"Luffy, you're dodging my question!"

"Oh, geez, I gotta go, I'll talk to ya later. We'll meet up somewhere, kay? I'm already ten minutes late, promised I'd be back by 10. Bye, Zoro!" without waiting for a reply he terminated the call. Zoro stared at his phone for a long moment before star 69ing the number, only to be surprised by a new development. Apparently, the number didn't exist. But that's impossible; the kid was _just _on the other line! This didn't make sense… then again, nothing out of this entire conversation had made sense.

Suddenly feeling the urge to move, Zoro got up and nervously circled the bed twice before deciding he preferred to sit and resettling on the dining table. Luffy said he was going to arrange a meeting. That meant someone, or possibly Luffy himself, would be coming to meet him. Of course, there was an equal chance that this was all just an organized prank made up by some sick stalker in order to mess with him. Perhaps, caught up in the moment, he had just let himself _believe _that Luffy was on the other line.

He had known about the river last summer. That had been Zoro and Luffy's private fishing spot that, as far as they were concerned, no one else knew even existed. Then again, someone could have easily hidden amongst the trees along the opposite side of the bank, and shrouded by thick foliage and teenage naivety, would have never been noticed.

Zoro's stomach rumbled, reminding him that he was, in fact, human, and that he had skipped breakfast. He hopped off the table and walked over the fridge. Pulling it open, he scanned the contents. Sighing, he grabbed the mustard, mayonnaise, lunch meat, cheese, pickles, lettuce, and various condiments in the door. He then grabbed the bread on the counter and slapped it all together into a not-so-professional style sandwich. Leaving the sandwich on the counter he turned to open the fridge once more. Grabbing the carton of milk sitting on the top shelf he then proceeded to take a drink straight from the carton. When it was about two inches from his mouth he stopped, sniffed the carton, and swirled the milk a little. He dumped the milk into the sink and crinkled his nose at the yellowish color and the putrid stench.

Zoro carried his sandwich over to the bed and lay down. Slowly eat his sandwich, and staring off into space as he did so. A sharp rap on the door pulled him from his thoughts and, the remains of his sandwich forgotten; he walked over the door and peered out the spy hole. Seeing his landlord out in the hall, he pulled open the door, a puzzled expression on his face.

"Letter for you, a man just dropped it off a couple minutes ago." His landlord said, jamming the letter in his face. Zoro grabbed it and turned it over in his hands, looking for a return address, he didn't find one.

"A man? What'd he look like?"

"Some old guy, had grayish-white hair," He stopped, seeing the look of confusion on Zoro's face, "Well anyway, the guy said it was important.

"Uhh, thanks." The man nodded and left down the hall. Zoro pulled the door closed and sat down on the bed. Sliding his finder under flap and peeling it open, he withdrew the single piece of paper inside. He unfolded it and scanned the letter.

_Meet at the Spiders' Café, eleven o'clock. Come alone. _

It didn't say who he was going to meet, but Zoro had a pretty good idea, and although he shouldn't want to go, curiosity took over and he found himself slipping the letter in his pocket. Pulling out his phone he turned it on to check the time, seeing as he was watch-less and there was no clock in his apartment. 10:28

Standing he grabbed the half eaten sandwich ad headed for the door. It clicked quietly behind him as he ran down the iron stairs of the apartment complex two at a time. Not bothering to lock the door he continued downward until coming to a stop at the front door.

He didn't own a car, so it would most likely take a good twenty minutes to get to the Spiders Café. Turning to knob Zoro stepped quickly out the door, ignoring the all-to-bright glare of the sun. Blinking repetitively as his eyes slowly adjusted to the new light, he made a sharp left turn into the ally.

The gloom of the alley was much more welcoming in comparison to the offending sunlight. He took another few bites of the sandwich before throwing it into an open dumpster. Once again he turned onto the street and pulled out his cell. 10:34.

Clipping it back onto his belt he hurried along Main Street, all but ignoring the people walking around him. Shoving was common around this area- it seemed as though everyone was behind schedule- and Zoro wasn't surprised when he was pushed roughly off the curb by a woman with a blue afro, he was just thoroughly pissed off. Its funny how something like that is only wrong when it's happening to you.

Grumbling grudgingly to himself, he made a mental guess as to the time, not wanting to pull out his phone on the hectic sidewalk, lest he risk losing it. Probably around 10:38 by now. Zoro stopped on the end of the road; planning on turning right at the cross walk. He tapped his foot, annoyed, when the flow of cars seemed to extend to oblivion.

He didn't even notice someone was calling his name until the Styrofoam cup hit him in the back of the head. About ready to kick whoever's ass who had just hit him in the head he whirled around and stopped upon sight of an all too familiar brown, mustang convertible. Usopp was driving, with Nami in the passenger's side, and Sanji grinning like an idiot from the back seat.

"Hey marimo, wanna give me my cup back?" Zoro glanced from the cup to Sanji then back down again. He solemnly lifted his foot and stomped on it, causing Sanji to frown.

"That wasn't nice"

"Neither was hitting me in the back of the head, jackass!" he paused suddenly remembering that he needed to be somewhere and pulled out his phone: 10:42. "Sorry guys I gotta go" he glanced up as the light turned to green before walking straight across the crosswalk instead of the originally intended 'right turn'.

"Hold up Zoro, where are you going? We can give you a ride!" Usopp called after him. Zoro stopped dead in his tracks. The letter had said to come alone; he had two options. If he took the ride he would have to tell them where he was going, and why. They would think he was crazy. Plan B it is. Zoro turned to the right and ran across the street totally ignoring the offer.

"I don't think he wants us to know where he's going." Offered Nami dejectedly.

"Who cares? Let follow him." Sanji offered, Usopp smiled and turned right, just barely making the light.

"I agree with Sanji." Usopp stated, grinning happily when Zoro glanced back, and seeing them, sped up towards the cemetery. This grin soon faded, however, when Zoro hopped the fence with the greatest of ease and turned back slightly to gloat.

Zoro ran like hell, dodging tombstones and trees as he made his way across the cemetery. He thought he could hear Sanji telling Usopp to stop the car and Nami telling them both to grow up. He only glanced back when he heard a clang behind him. Quite unnerved at the fact that Sanji had jumped the fence as well.

"Don't you have anything better to do than stalk me?" Zoro called over his shoulder, panting slightly but not losing pace.

"It's a Sunday." Sanji replied panting as well although he appeared to be catching up. Now on the other side, Zoro ran forward and dashed through the cemetery gate that had been left open by mistake, closing it behind him. A self satisfied smirk crossed his face as he heard the tumblers on the lock snap together.

He disappeared around the corner as Sanji reached the fence, and sprinted into an alley then out the other side, merging with the crowd as he slipped inside the Spiders Café; Sanji shouting bitter, obscene words after him.

Usopp pulled up to the gate, just as Sanji reached the top and hopped to the ground.

"You lose him?" Usopp inquired.

"No, I ate him." Replied Sanji sarcastically. "The next time I see him I swear I'll kill him." With that he pulled the car door open and slid into the backseat.


	4. Chapter 4

False Pretense 4

Usopp, Sanji, and Nami had been sitting for a good thirty minutes in the waiting room, exhausted from lack of sleep the previous night, yet still too restless to relax, let alone sleep. Thus they had come to meet with whoever was going to discuss the will with them as soon as possible.

The entire building had a morbid, depressing aura. In order to brighten the atmosphere, the waiting room in which they were currently sitting was decorated with a bright and cheery demeanor. Of course, this only proved to make things worse. No one wants to stare at colorful plastic flowers and springtime curtains with matching rug and furniture when they are morning the loss of a loved one. It practically screamed 'Look at us! We're happy and you're not, so why don't you just go mope around while we get on with our lives?' Uplifting, am I right?

Naturally the staff matched the attempt-at-cheery atmosphere. To Usopp it seemed that the overly happy teens and old women with plastic grins had had one too many injections of botox. What's worse was the fact that they just wouldn't leave you be.

One after another you would be asked personal and seemingly innocent questions in a last minute attempt to cheer you up.

'So what brings you here?'

'Oh nothing in particular, I just felt like hanging around the most morbid place in town for kicks, fucktard.'

Good intentions or otherwise, some people need to learn when it's best to say nothing. The more people that '_dropped by'_ the angrier Nami seemed to get. The employees stayed oblivious to this, however, and continued to ask their stupid questions.

Just as it appeared that the red-head was going to spring from her seat and devour every last one of them whole, Usopp's phone began to vibrate. The sudden motion caused him to start slightly, most likely saving the blond-teen's poor soul from a violent death, since his flinching had attracted Nami's attention away from the help.

Usopp fished the phone out of his pocket and flicked it open. The glowing screen displayed an unfamiliar number; he puzzled for a moment as the phone shook in his hand once more before it dawned on him. He hadn't called into work today. Mumbling a colorful array of curses under his breath he pressed the green button and held it bitterly against his ear.

"Hello?"

"Usopp-san? Are you alright?" It was Kaya, how she had gotten his number he would never know, but just the fact that she had called was enough to cheer him up slightly. Or at least it would have if she wasn't about to scold him for not calling in.

"Uhh… Ya I'm fine. Look sorry I forgot to call in it's just-"

"It's ok, I already heard. Everyone knows." Or not. "We sort of figured you wouldn't be in today; I just wanted to call and see if you were ok. Losing two of your best friends in the same year must be tough."

"Ya, I guess I'll be ok. Thanks for worrying."

"Time heals all wounds."

"Not all of them." He replied truthfully. Before he could continue the conversation any farther the officer from Zoro's apartment entered the room. "I've gotta go Kaya. I'll call you back. Good-bye." He hung up.

"Hey" the officer greeted him, "I've got some work I need to get done, so I'm going to hand you over to my friend, Mr. Bätch." The officer directed them towards a plump, red-faced man, who extended his hand with a smile.

"Call me Karl." He said politely.

"Only if you stop smiling." Usopp spat, ignoring the extended hand. Karl's smile faded as he nodded gravely and brought his hand to his side. Gesturing for them to follow, he led them down the hall to a small conference room. Once he'd pulled the door open and the three of them had entered ahead of him, he took a seat at one end of the table while signaling for them to sit in the three cushioned chairs opposite him.

There was something about this place that Usopp just… didn't like. Maybe it was because it reminded him of an insane asylum. The blank-white hallways. The countless doorways, most of which's windows were either shrouded by blinds, or had been covered with duct tape as if _something_ was happening in there that they didn't want you to see. It was just too comfortable, almost to a point where it was creepy.

Then again, it may have just been the fact that, once the will was read, he would have to accept that another of his childhood friends was gone, forever, from this world. The last time he had been at a will-reading, it had been painful, unbelievably painful. More-over, this room was the exact same- or at least appeared to be- as the one they had been in the first time.

Selecting the seat on the far left; he settled into it and then scooted forward, deciding that it was too comfortable. Sanji and Nami sat next to him and it appeared they came to the same conclusion as they leaned forward and rested their arms on the table. Karl drew a deep breath and sighed heavily as he reached into his pocket, producing a neatly folded envelope, about the size of a greeting card.

"We're here to discuss the will of the deceased: one, Mr. Roronora Zoro." He said, obviously reciting a long ago memorized procedure, and he continued his oration, explaining legal procedures of which Usopp paid no mind. Karl's right hand hovered over the envelope sitting neatly on the table as though he dreaded having to break the seal, and henceforth made sure to articulate every detail with the utmost precision so he could stall for a little longer.

Carefully fingering the envelope, he turned it over in his hands several times before finally sliding his thumb under the flap.

"Your friend was very… particular with what he wanted you to do with his possessions… Here, I'll read it for you:

_I'll be blunt. Blunt but specific. Bluntly specific. _

_I leave everything I own to Nami, Sanji, and Usopp. Withdraw all of the money from my bank account and put it in the safe in my storage locker. The combination is 29-73-30-57. Everything I own is to remain untouched for exactly three months, and then you three can split it as you see fit (I suggest NOT letting Nami divide the money). _

_-Roronora Zoro_

_P.S. Enjoy mooching off the spoils of a dead man. _

Karl re-folded the will and returned it to the envelope. He slid it across the table, and placed it directly in front of Usopp, who hesitated before picking it up.

"Do you have any idea of what he may have been thinking when he wrote this?" Karl asked. 

"He was always a fan of irony." Sanji replied openly.

"I don't follow…" He said. Nami smiled grimly.

"It was 3 months since the day Luffy… when Zoro-" She paused, unable to bring herself to say 'died' and instead continued "Wrote the will. He hadn't touched anything in the storage locker or his bank account…"

They sat in silence, letting the reality of the situation sink in. Usopp refused look at the envelope in his hands, just held it tight, as if putting it down would cause Zoro's memory- which was now all he had- to fade away into oblivion. The tension in the room was so overwhelmingly thick that it felt as though you could reach out and touch it, this soon began to feel suffocating, oppressing until it seemed that they couldn't handle the pressure any more.

"Is that all then? Are we done here?" Nami asked, impatient to get out of the depressing room. Karl hesitated before nodding and she immediately stood and- followed by Usopp and Sanji- hurried from the room.

"I don't like this…" Usopp said as he slipped into the driver's seat of his Mustang.

"Like what?" Sanji asked as he pulled open the passenger's side door for Nami and then slid into the back seat.

"This whole thing. It just doesn't seem like the Zoro I knew. I mean, he wasn't that bad off the last time we saw him! It just-"

"Usopp." Nami cut in "The police have already checked this. It was his fingerprints on the knife, it was even his blood. There were no other traces of DNA besides his and ours. You can't just deny it and think it will change anything. He's dead, he killed himself. No murder, no sinister plot. This isn't one of your ridiculous stories, this is life. He was already depressed; you know that as well as I do. It's just… I don't know, you can't change these things…" Nami trailed off, gazing out at the passing cars; obviously not willing to contribute any more to the subject.

"… You're right. It's just… hard." The car fell into an uneasy silence as they drove back to Usopp's house, dreading every mile as they drew closer to the impending funeral.


	5. Chapter 5

**Ok, in this story if you feel you're a bit confused then good, I want it that way. I deliberately made it confusing by leaving out tid-bit details that I plan to fill in later so that people will want to read. So for those of you that are confused, congratulations, for those who know exactly what's going to happen, you're fooling yourselves and, in the words of Dean Koontz, "prepare to be enchanted."**

False Pretense 5

Zoro stepped into the Spiders Café to find that- given the early hour- there was only one other family in the establishment. Glancing around the café, he didn't see Luffy, which either meant that he was early, or Luffy was late. That is, if he showed up at all. Zoro sighed, walked over to a table near the window, and pulled back one of the seats.

The café was small, but had a cozy feeling to it. Each of the tables had a centerpiece, and everything was in a hue of brown. There was cool jazz playing from an old radio sitting on the counter. The room seemed a bit _too_ serene, as though he were in one of those apocalyptic movies, where the rapture had begun, and he, along with the other family and the few employees scuttling about, were among the few of those who were left behind, while the world around them remained unscathed, as though nothing had happened. He shook his head slightly, dispelling the thought. Zoro had always had such a _colorful_ imagination.

A waitress with dark hair, clad in a white apron, walked over to the table, brandishing a notepad and pen. She stood silently for a moment, watching him expectantly.

"I'm sorta waiting for someone." He offered

"I know. Just let me know when you want to order. 'Kay? I recommend the fishcakes, they're really good." Zoro blinked at the comment.

"Especially with tartar sauce…Sure, I'll have that…" The raven haired woman flashed a mysterious smile and walked curtly through the double-doors leading to the kitchen. It wasn't until the doors had ceased swinging before he realized the meaning behind her words.

'I know'? How could she possibly know he was waiting for someone? Maybe it was his overactive imagination working again, but it seemed like everything this woman said had a double-meaning. Everything in this fucking _game_ had a double meaning.

He suddenly felt like there were eyes on him, no doubt his imagination, but he still pressed further towards the wall, as though he could hide from their view by morphing into the wall, but still keeping his eyes on the door his waitress had disappeared into all the same.

She emerged a few minutes later carrying his fishcake on a tray. Setting it down on the table, the woman reached into one of the pockets of her apron and, withdrawing something, pressed it into Zoro's hand.

"Is that your car parked in our delivery lane? Would you mind moving it once you're finished eating?" He looked at the keys she had handed him, then up at her; a confused look crossed his face.

"I'll do it now." He stood from the table and, laying a ten dollar bill in the center, hurried out the door. He stepped over to the delivery lane and, sure enough, 'his' black Ford Explorer stood in the drive. Coincidence, or staged? He assumed the latter.

He tested the door, half expecting it to be locked and the keys fake, but found that it popped open easily. He slipped behind the wheel, pulling the door closed behind him. Then sliding the keys into the ignition he turned them away from himself. Sure enough, the car roared to life. After sitting behind the wheel for a moment, he realized that he had absolutely no idea where he was going.

Zoro reached over and opened the glove compartment, but found only legal papers and a pair of sunglasses. Feeling under the seat, he pulled out a CD case, and unzipped it. He flipped through uncaringly, just for the sake of looking rather than _finding_ anything. Zoro stopped, turned back to the last CD, and withdrew it from its case. The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.

He popped the disk into the player. Unexpectedly, no raspy voice shouted out at him, singing of love, life, and paradox. Instead, a cool female voice began to articulate turn-by-turn directions. With a satisfied smile he pulled out of the delivery lane and onto the road.

All right. Was _everything _that Luffy said to him of importance? What else had he said? He'd been eating potato chips… but that didn't make sense, potato chips didn't exactly seem like the most important thing he needed. Let's see… he'd scratched a car, but Zoro wasn't about to go maim a Chrysler to see what happened. Nor was he going to go buy himself a brand new Dodge Ram. He followed the woman on the CD's instructions until he pulled into the parking lot of a large convenience store. The woman's voice rang out:

"Please remove the keys from the ignition and place them under the seat. Remove this recording and destroy it, then calmly transfer to the next designated vehicle. Thank you." The car went silent before the last verse of False Pretense began to play.

Zoro hesitated for a moment, unsure of what to do next, and then, as if an internal switch had been thrown, he grabbed the keys and tossed them under the seat haphazardly. He then grabbed the door handle and pushed it open, at the same time ejecting the CD, which he broke in half and tossed on the concrete, stomping it for good measure, before dropping it in a waste basket.

He jammed his hands into his pockets and casually cruised the lot, searching for what he assumed should be a Dodge Ram. After going over the entire lot, he found only one Dodge; it was dark green (not red) and locked. Sighing, he settled in one of the benches in front of the market, and, thoroughly confused, scanned the lot repeatedly for something he had missed. After several minutes of nothing he got up yet again to go examine the green Dodge.

"What are you doing?" A male voice asked defensively. Zoro looked up quickly and backed into the car behind him.

"Oh, I was just, it's a nice car. I was thinking of getting one myself." He replied stupidly.

"It's not for sale." The owner of the Dodge replied warily.

"Oh no, I was just looking." Zoro replied.

"… All right." The man said cautiously, and he opened the door, sliding his groceries into the passenger's seat and pulling out of the lot. He had a feeling the driver was watching him in the rear-view mirror long after he'd disappeared from sight, as if any second Zoro would run him down with willpower alone, and steal his precious Dodge. Zoro sighed and turned to look at the car he'd backed into.

It was an old Chevy Suburban, with a cherry-red paint job, and although the car was slightly rusted, that wasn't what drew his attention. It was the long scratch, running from one side of the door to the other. He reached out, hesitated, then grasped the handle and pulled. It opened. He crawled across the passenger seat and into the driver's seat, the door swinging closed on its own accord. He reached under the seat and felt around for the keys, and sure enough, there they were. Zoro started the car and then paused, the engine idling.

If he took the car and it _wasn't _the 'designated vehicle', then he would be faced with two problems: 1) He wouldn't know where to go, and 2) He would be stealing, carjacking to be exact. But if it _was_ and he didn't take it, he would never find Luffy and as he had put it "Be dead by the end of the week." _Either decision would ruin my life, better go with the one that doesn't kill me_. He shifted into reverse and began pulling out of the lot before he stopping once more. He had no clue where he was going.

He reached over to the glove compartment and sighed with relief when, along with the ritual legal documents and such, a map fluttered to the floor. But then, that's too easy. There were six different colored lines marking six different routes to six different destinations.

He groaned and flipped the map over to look for some sort of legend; there was none. When he looked one more time he noticed that he recognized some of the destinations. There was a green line leading to his apartment, a brown line leading to Usopp's office, an orange line leading to Nami's house, and a blue line leading to Sanji's restaurant. That left a red line leading to an unknown house, and a purple line leading back to the Spiders Café.

Assuming that the purple line was to throw others off, he began to follow the route mapped out by the red line, hopping that it would produce results. He drove quickly, barely below the speed limit, but being careful not to break any laws. After all, the car wasn't registered in his name, and he really didn't want to end up in jail.

He was driving for much longer than expected, and he watched as the scenery changed from suburban, to urban, to rural, and slowly back to suburban. He glanced at the car's clock and was surprised to see it was 5:56.

"Geez, going on a wild goose chase sure takes up your time, doesn't it?" he asked to no one in particular. After pulling into a nice neighborhood, he turned into the driveway of an old Victorian-style house, painted white, with an abnormally few amount of windows. Stepping up the walkway, he hoped that with this house the end this little game would come soon.

He ascended the steps timidly, and rang the bell. After waiting for what seemed like hours, the door opened slightly, revealing a intimidating man with white hair.

"Roronora, I presume. Come with me." He turned without giving Zoro a chance to answer and disappeared inside. He followed him, across the threshold and into what could only be described as the den. Zoro followed him to a doorway, which lead down to the basement. But it didn't stop there. The house was a labyrinth, extending downward and branching out endlessly.

"I should hope you we're smart enough to not be followed."

After following him up and down so many staircases that he had lost count, he began examining his surroundings. The walls were all painted a monotonous gray, but each door was painted its own vibrant color, with a professional-looking insignia painted on. They passed an orange door with a flame, a yellow door with a thunderbolt, a blue door with a clown, a pink door with a swan, and many others of the like.

They also passed a door painted the same, dull gray of the walls, as if the resident didn't care for such pointless tasks. What amused him to no end, however, was the angry cloud painted on with black spray paint, and judging by the wear of the paint on the door, it had been scrubbed vigorously to no avail. In the bottom right corner was the same flame-insignia he had seen on the orange door. They finally reached the end of the hall, where a bright red door with a straw-hat insignia sat, as though awaiting their arrival. The white haired man pushed the door open without knocking, revealing a black haired boy, sitting on the bed grinning like a maniac, before walking away as though he honestly didn't care. And to be honest, he probably didn't.


	6. Chapter 6

False Pretense 6

Without skipping a beat, Luffy leapt from the bed and rushed forward, hooking onto Zoro with one arm and spinning him merrily in a circle before pushing him onto the bed.

"I missed you! It's been so long, like years! Ugh, this place is so boring; I can't even walk around… Wait a minute… I'm not supposed to leave my room unless I have someone with me but now you're with me so let's GO!" Before allowing Zoro to agree, or even answer, he skipped out of the room and into the hall. Zoro followed out into the hall only to find him concentrating intently on a green door directly across from his.

"This is your room… but it looks like he didn't finish the door… Oh well, it's okay! He'll get to it later… Isn't this awesome? We're right across from each other!" Luffy grinned at him expectantly, waiting for him to answer.

"Oh ya, epic…" Zoro replied.

"I know! I'll give you the grand tour! Come on!" Latching firmly onto Zoro's wrist, as if to prevent him from getting lost in the labyrinth, and leading him down the hall to the staircase, he still chose not to allow any chance for petty chat. Just as they had rounded the corner and disappeared from sight, a man opened the green door and stepped out. Brandishing a paintbrush and paint, he glanced left and right expecting to see someone in the hall. When he realized that no one was there, he simply went back to working on the door that was still glistening with wet paint.

Luffy slid down the banister and hopped the rail, executing his mad skills at stair hopping; Zoro soon found himself two levels behind. Luffy beckoned for him to follow; he concurrently burst through a door and disappeared. Following him quickly, taking two steps at a time and leaping the last flight entirely, Zoro pulled open the door and glanced around to see Luffy headed for two large double-doors on the other side of the room. Falling in beside him, they pushed open the doors and entered the room.

"This is the mess hall. Big long tables, lotsa chairs, pointless decorations to make it look fancy, come on." And Luffy was off again, crossing the room and hopping tables (clearly enjoying himself) as he moved towards a revolving door on the other side. He bolted along the wall, hitting the door full speed, only to fall backwards and land flat on his back. He paused, blinked, and then grinned widely.

"Oops! Gotta use the card!"

"Card?"

"Ya." He fished around in his pocket and withdrew a red card with the same straw-hat emblem that was painted on his door, and a black magnetic strip followed by a four-digit code. "This is my key card. You should get one eventually, but you have to use it to get into the lounge. You also use it to get into your room, but that's only if you want to lock your door…. After you've had the card for 6 months without getting into trouble with it you can have your card updated so you can use the elevators, vending machines, and after a year some people get to go outside, but Smoker says at this rate I'll never get to, so I take that as permission to get into trouble." Zoro just looked at Luffy for a moment before shooting him a confused look.

"You said that you weren't allowed to go outside until you had been here for a year, right?" Luffy nodded, "Ok then why, since you've only been here for three months, were you outside when you called me? I mean didn't you say you walked into a car?"

Luffy's expression was blank for a moment, as if he had forgotten the incident; none the less it soon dawned on him and with this realization came a boastful grin.

"I said I wasn't _allowed _to leave, that doesn't mean I didn't." with this he also answered the question that was so clearly etched on Zoro's face, "Leader let me out."

"That 'Leader' guy sounds pretty cool…" he observed, obviously impressed.

"Ya it was all going great until Smoker caught us…"

"_Smoker_ caught you; you mean he isn't the leader?"

"Ya, Leaders technically a higher authority, but Smoker acts like he's the boss 'cause he thinks Leader's too irresponsible to do anything unless his life depends on it."

"Makes sense… so did you get in trouble? When he caught you I mean."

He grinned slyly at Zoro before sliding the card through the slot next to the door and pushing through, with Zoro following behind him.

"Smoker's such a tight-ass you get in trouble for being two minutes late for breakfast."

As they entered the room several people looked up at them, no doubt searching for the source of the thump resulting on Luffy's head on collision with the door, but when they saw him it was instantly dismissed and they simply continued with whatever they had been doing a few moments prior. A few of them were still snickering at the previous comment. Apparently feelings were unanimous, at least about Smoker's tight-assness.

"This" Luffy gestured around a cozy looking room with several recliners surrounding four different big screens forming a square in the center, there were a few people playing poker in the corner while others were gathered around a pool table; nobody seemed to notice Zoro gazing around the room, "Is the lounge. Leader bought the TVs last week, pretty sweet, huh?"

"…Hell ya." Zoro replied. Luffy pointed to a door on the other side of the lounge.

"That's leader's office, just in case you need to know… there's a shower in your bathroom, and a toilet. Duh. We're on the third floor. Don't go on floor 2, 4 or 6, cause those are girl floors and if the girls don't kill you Smoker will, but seriously you probably won't live through the girls… I guess I'll show you the laundry room, and that's pretty much it. Told you it was boring."

Luffy led him back through the mess hall and down one more flight of stairs onto the basement-level beneath where Zoro assumed the lounge was. They walked into a room with washers and dryers lining the walls and tables littered with piles of clothes. The entire room was well light with rows upon rows of florescent lights most of which were currently on. Off in the far corner two teens- most likely in their early twenties- were busy doing their laundry.

Once again, Luffy's apparent popularity caused the two boys to glance up, and, setting aside the articles they were currently folding, approached for a chat. They were moderately handsome, with a nice smile, but neither of them were anywhere near movie star material. The taller of the two spoke first:

"So Luffy… who's the newbie?" he asked giving Zoro a sort of crooked glance.

"Ah this is my friend Zoro!" Luffy beamed as if proudly showing off a priceless work of art he himself had created. The shorter of the two, who still had a good three inches on Zoro, smiled and casually rested an arm on his shoulder as if they were good friends.

"So….Zoro… What do ya do?"

The marimo glanced down at the arm on his shoulder then look up into the offending personal-space-invader's eyes.

"I have no idea what you're talking about but you would be wise to remove your arm from my shoulder and proceed to never touch me again." He replied coldly. The teen paused as if wondering if he was joking. If he was, the look of conviction sure was fooling. The taller of the two burst out laughing especially hard when the shorter slipped his arm off Zoro's shoulder as though the contact singed flesh. The taller teen continued to laugh hysterically before he -between gasping breaths- choked-out:

"Ohohohhooo! Burned by the newb!" this comment only seemed to upset the other boy further, who quickly retorted:

"How is that a burn? That doesn't make any sense"

"Ok, ok so maybe it isn't a BURN necessarily, but still he's pretty good." He turned to Zoro, "I like you, but seriously, what do you do?"

"I don't _do _anything"

"You have to do _something_…"

"Nope."

"…Well, why are you here then?"

"We were having a Tupperware party, been looking though catalogs all day. We needed a break." Zoro replied. The older one began to laugh, yet again.

"This guy speaks sarcasm as a second language." The taller man chuckled.

"That must be it! Super-human-sarcasm!" the shorter man agreed, while simultaneously expressing his ability to make wise-ass comments as good as the next guy.

"Now if you don't mind…" Zoro said as he pushed open the door, "We've got some Tupperware-hunting to attend to. Come on Luffy." Zoro slipped through the door and into the hall; Luffy staring dumbly after him.

"Wait, I thought we were going back to our rooms…" and he followed him into the hall.

When he did move into the hall he nearly ran head-long into Zoro, who clearly didn't know which way to go but didn't want to admit it. Without commenting Luffy started off down the hall Zoro not far behind. A light ding to the left announced the arrival of an elevator on this floor and Luffy rushed to meet it. Despite the fact that he didn't have a card that ran the elevator he stepped in and moved to the side so Zoro too could slide into the already crowded cab.

He pressed in their floor number, as a random person slid their card through the slot for verification. The doors slid closed with a soft wheeze of pressure, much like the sound of a person opening a magnetized refrigerator, and the elevator lurched upward stopping on the second floor. When the doors opened once more half the girls in the cab exited, and a few of the boys leapt out, and then back into the cab as quickly as they had stepped out. Just before the doors slid closed at least four of the girls lightheartedly starting making accusations of 'purple' which was apparently when a boy stepped onto a girls floor without reason or visa versa.

The next floor was floor three, and Luffy squeezed out the door before it opened even half the width it could have gone. Zoro trailed after him, along with a few other boys, and the remaining girls in the elevator proceeded to return the favor for earlier. Luffy was bouncing off the walls, skipping merrily and completely drunk on life, whilst Zoro tried to retain what little dignity Luffy hadn't already taken away. The floor was carpeted but none the less Luffy's thongs were clicking loudly- the sound of which was literally reverberating off the concrete walls- as he skipped merrily to Zoro's door. When he already had one hand on the knob a ringing from his own abode caught his attention and he quickly changed directions.

"You go wait in you're room I gotta answer the phone." With that he opened his own door and slid inside. Zoro grunted his consent and moved to his door as he was reaching for the knob it abruptly turned and the door swung inward revealing a moderately tall teen with black hair and freckles. He wasn't wearing a shirt, and had a vibrant orange hat sitting on his head. The two made eye contact for a moment before the other boy shoved the door closed in Zoro's face. He paused for a moment. This _was _his room, but maybe he wasn't supposed to go inside yet. Once more he raised his hand, this time rapping lightly on the door with his knuckles. After a moment of silence the black-haired boy opened the door just enough to reveal one eye and a well freckled cheek.

"Password?"

"What?" Zoro inquired, caught off guard by the impulsive statement.

"Well, you need a password"

"I though this was my room…"

"It is. But you still need a password."

"Oh… well he didn't say…I mean…" Before he could ramble any further Luffy stepped from his own room. Zoro glanced back slightly as he stepped out, but when he looked back the door was completely shut. He hadn't even heard it close.

"Hey Luffy what's the password?"

"Password? What the hell are you…ah man." Without clarification Luffy walked up to the door and tried the knob, to no avail.

"Ace that isn't your room. Open the door." For a few moments it appeared as if he wouldn't respond, but sure enough the deadbolt clicked and the door slid inward. Pouting, he stepped out into the hall with his hands crossed in front of his chest like a toddler who had just been denied his request for a cookie.

"No fun…" He turned to Zoro and quirked an eyebrow before extending his hand, "Hi, my names Portogas D. Ace, nice to meet ya." Hesitating slightly, he took the man's hand and shook it.

"I'm Zoro…"

"Oh, you're Zoro? You mean the guy we're killing tonight?" Zoro jerked his hand away and took a step back, eyeing him warily. Ace blinked at him confusedly before realizing what he had just said. "No! not really killing, it just, now that Bananawa knows that you're with us we've gotta off you… at least before they _really_ do."

"Bananawa…Bananawa Inc? You mean the company doing genetic research for curing diseases?"

"That's not all they're doing… but we'll get to that later. We were planning on having Bon Kurrei go tonight… the sooner the better…"

"Oh, speaking of offing Zoro, Robin wanted to see us-" A bell that held the nostalgia of a high school dismissing for the day rang towards the other end of the hall.

"ROOM CHECK!" As if a switch had been thrown, various doors flew open and the residents began lining up in the hall. Smoker began walking down the hall and dismissing everyone into their rooms. He approached them and stopped in front of Luffy, Zoro, and Ace.

"Get in your rooms."

"Can Zoro stay in my room?" Luffy pleaded.

"No."

"Can I stay in his?"

"No."

"Can we sleep in the hall?"

"You'll sleep in your rooms."

"Can we leave the doors open?"

"Doors closed."

"Can we call each other on our cell phones?"

"No you can't, now shut up and get your ass in your room." Smoker spat.

"Yes sir, Mr. Sir." He replied, but made no move to get in his room. Smoker grunted in annoyance and continued down the hall, stopping as he passed Ace.

"You too."

"You wanna come?" he asked, elbowing him in the stomach and grinning earnestly. Smoker studied him for a moment as if trying to decide whether he was serious or kidding around. Apparently he decided on the latter as he moved on without even justifying the question with an answer. "Ok, I'm leaving the door unlocked!" He called after him before turning back to Luffy "He'll be back." He whispered- grinning so widely that it was a wonder his face didn't split in two- before heading down the hall. Luffy then scurried into his room and closed the door behind him, and Zoro quickly followed suit.

The room was freshly painted forest green, and the carpet was beige, with a matching bedspread and pillows. The door had apparently been finished while Luffy was giving him the 'Grand Tour', for a gleaming emblem of a white sword had been painted on the door with great detail, inside and out. There was a clothes chest in the corner, which –to his surprise- was filled with several new outfits, meaning they expected him to be here for a while. In the bathroom the color scheme was generally the same as the bedroom, with green linoleum tiles on the floor and white wall paper. There was a shower in the corner, with a few light brown towels hanging from a wrack, and plenty of toiletries and soap.

He turned out the overhead light and hopped onto the bed. He set his cell phone on the bedside table next to the lamp and alarm clock and slid under the covers. Just as he was about to fall asleep his phone began to vibrate on the table, and when he went to grab it he brushed the lamp. It turned on in response to the contact, now dimly lighting the room. _Touch lamp, cool…_ He flipped open his phone and looked at the screen:

_Luffy: He nvr sed no txtn! _

**Just in case you can't read that, it says "He never said no texting!" As you may have noticed, I don't own a cell, and therefore do not know text-speak. Bear with me, I'm technologically retarded when it comes to this stuff... **


	7. Chapter 7

**This one was annoying to write because Jesse kept pestering me for a waffle but, no. she didn't want to get it herself because she had a mild case of phobiphobia (fear of being afraid of something when she got up there-particularly someone lurking in the dark) Oh by the way… Ace and Luffy aren't supposed to be brothers in this fic that kinda slipped the explanations up to this point, but we decided this quite a while ago… **

False Pretense 7

"So did you have any _visitors_ last night Ace?" asked Luffy innocently.

"I've no idea what you're talking about." He replied, matching the innocent tone.

Zoro chuckled a little "Are you kidding? We all _know _that you're lying.

Mortified Ace pressed: "What, how?"

"Aha! So I was right!" Luffy laughed loud enough to attract attention, while the statement remained too blunt to be revealing to potential eavesdroppers.

"Hey! That was so cheap!" he yelled, not quite as loudly as Luffy but still audible. The three were positioned at the end of the largest of the tables in the mess hall, completely oblivious to everyone else in the room. The two of them just continued to laugh as Ace grew more and more irritated.

It was about mid-morning, just in time for a late breakfast. Both Zoro and Ace had chosen a simple bowl of cereal and a slice of toast for their breakfast, seeing as lunch was only a few hours away. Luffy, however, had chosen to get the most elaborate breakfast the cooks would allow, consisting of a plate of waffles saturated in grape syrup and smothered in whip cream, a bowl of cereal, scrambled eggs, a glass of milk, orange juice, and a few strips of bacon he had managed to mooch off of some kid who happened to be sitting near by. Despite all this, Luffy was the first of the three to complete his meal and the first to complain that he was still hungry.

He stood and walked into the kitchen with such conviction etched into his features that you would figure he was going off to war. In his mind, I'm sure he was. Almost as quickly as he had entered, he reappeared from behind the same door looking extremely unsatisfied.

"They said that I couldn't have any more or I wouldn't get lunch." He stated with such scorn that you may have considered it a federal crime. He sat pouting for a few minutes until his eyes wandered over to Ace's plate. Before the plan could even hatch, however, Ace snatched up his toast and stuffed it into his mouth. So much for that idea. Zoro of course was his second option. Much to his surprise, he didn't even have to ask or attempt to steal something off Zoro's plate. He just _willingly _relinquished his toast. The raven-haired teen gleefully snatched it from his hand and stuffed it into his mouth, unconsciously mimicking Ace's actions.

"See Ace? I didn't even have to _ask _Zoro. He's a true friend." To punctuate this he poked out his tongue in a playful manner.

After Luffy had eaten the slice of toast, the three were officially finished with their meals and headed off to the kitchen to rinse their plates and put them in the dishwasher. Just as they had finished with the plates the two teens from last night approached them, the shorter one addressing Zoro:

"I've got it! You're a plant man right? That's why your hair is green?"

"Uhh...No."

"Damn! I though I had it!" with that he walked away, having no reason to stick around since his hypothesis had failed him. The taller teen started to follow then remembered something:

"Hey, Robin is looking for you two. I think she's still in the laundry room."

"'Kay thanks!" Luffy called as the teen slipped around the corner. After this Ace turned towards Luffy and Zoro.

"I've got some stuff I gotta do so I'll see ya later." Luffy and Zoro headed down the steps to the laundry room, following the same path as they had the day before in the exact opposite direction Ace had gone. When Zoro stepped into the room he found that the woman who had been his waitress at the Spiders Café was the only person present.

"Hey Robin! You wanted to see us?" Luffy piped, as he pulled one of the chairs littering the room away from a table and sat down.

"That's right. I figured that if I didn't fill Zoro-kun in he would remain perpetually in the dark." She stated as she picked up one of the freshly-laundered shirts and began to fold it.

A soft clicking sound on cement drew Zoro's attention away from the mysterious woman, and he glanced around in an attempt to locate the source of the noise. His focus settled on a fuzzy brown creature holding a perfectly-balled sock between its hooves.

"Is this right Robin?" It squeaked. She nodded and smiled.

"Yes, that's perfect Chopper-kun."

"**Holy shit! It's a talking raccoon-dog!" **Zoro shouted loud enough to make Chopper jump and hide- in the wrong position- behind one of the washing machines.

"I'm a reindeer, asshole!" He replied quite indignantly.

"Ya, maybe a mutant reindeer…"

"Well actually, you're not that far off." Robin interrupted. Zoro blinked and gave her a clueless look; he had no idea what that was supposed to mean. She chuckled mysteriously. "I suppose I should start from the top… I assume you're familiar with Bananawa Inc.?"

"Bananawa as in the major company? That Bananawa?"

"Yes. They began with researching how to cure genetic disorders, but as research progressed they began to think they were capable of more. Research is a lot more complex than the public knows at this point. They began genetic testing on animals." Robin nodded towards Chopper, who was still holding the sock, "Chopper is an example of this: advanced speech and vocabulary, the ability to participate in conversations. A major accomplishment for scientists everywhere, that alone could have made them famous. But no, they kept their discovery a secret, convinced that they could do so much more; they moved on to bigger things."

"_Bigger?_ Bigger like how?" Inquired Zoro, although he could only assume that he already knew the answer.

"Animals weren't all they tested on in Bananawa. They started testing on humans, convinced that they could make the race better, make it _perfect_." She heaved a sigh and continued, as though quoting: "'A landmark for the human race.' They started by genetically enhancing fetuses in test tubes. This procedure was ultimately believed to have failed, so they tried a more direct approach. They directly altered the DNA of some of the employees, and they succeeded. Some came willingly, others didn't have a choice, and some just didn't know what they were getting into."

"Wait… you said that the first experiment with humans was _believed _to be a failure. Does that mean it did work?" Zoro questioned, his head spinning with the new information she had thrown at him.

"Believed, yes. The gene was found to be dormant until puberty, some time between 12-16 years of age. Rarely past sixteen, but there are some cases with 'late bloomers'. Sometimes the body will reject the gene, and they will grow up as normal children. Once the company discovered the dormant gene they searched desperately for the people who they had experimented on only to release at a young age before they could sustain any memories; they were afraid that someone would find out about their illegal testing on humans. And the only way to hide the gene was by 'killing' the person and taking them back to their lab. That's where we come in."

"… So you're telling me that you're a mutant… hiding other mutants. The next thing you're going to tell me is that the genes are passed down through the males and that Ace's real name is Professor Xavier."

"It's no joke. I was the first of the directly-experimented humans. The method they used was the same used on the earlier tests, and they thought the experiment had failed, so they changed the procedure. They didn't know if the new procedure would be harmful or not, so they brought in a 'disposable resource', who just happened to be a convicted felon."

"Who was that?" Zoro asked.

"That's not important…" before she could move on, Luffy began to cough a very, very fake cough, which sounded suspiciously like the word 'Smoker'… but maybe that was just him.

"Anyway…" she continued shooting a sharp look Luffy's way that instantly shut him up, "The procedure worked, and he was the first to actually exhibit positive results. My abilities were revealed soon after- they never were quite sure why mine were delayed. Then came Ace, who just happened to be in his twenties, and feeling invincible like most kids his age, recklessly signed up for the program. Eventually Bananawa classified the experiments: any animals tested on were referred to as Zoan, anyone who was tested on as an embryo-and before they switched the procedure in my case- were classified as Paramecia, and those who were tested on directly were considered Logia. Eventually the company ran out of available test subjects and began picking people up off the streets, primarily hitchhikers. Most of the people in Bananawa didn't question it, but as soon as Leader-san heard they were using unwilling patrons he decided to found this… protection agency, I suppose, with Smoker-san…"

"Oh, were they friends?"

"On the contrary, those two fought like cats and dogs, but that's what got things done." She fell silent, giving Zoro a moment to grasp the new information and contemplate.

"So, are there a lot of people who were tested on?"

"Actually, you're the only person in this entire estate who hasn't been tested on." Zoro was taken aback. That was a lot of people…

"So… what do _you _do?" Robin chuckled mysteriously, as though she had expected this question, and he had no doubt she hadn't. "I suppose you'll see soon enough. Most of the students here haven't fully harnessed their abilities and so they never use them while others, like your friend here, have a natural talent for it and can use them quite well."

Just as he was about to ask another question, Zoro realized that _something _in the room was off. He turned only to find that Luffy had vanished. Before He could even turn around Robin answered the unasked question: he had left shortly after the 'comment' about Smoker. Zoro gave his thanks and wandered off down the hall.

He sighed and started off in a random direction, seeing as he didn't know the layout of the catacomb-like rooms and even if he did he'd most likely still get lost. For a while he walked forward in a serene silence, all the while admiring the decorations.

On the bottom floor, instead of the multi-colored doors that were present on a good majority of the other floors, the walls were decorated with works of art: photography, paintings, sculptures, and banners littered the otherwise blank hallway. Some were better than others, for some appeared to be designed by a professional whilst others looked as if they had been crafted during a high school art class. Most likely these various pieces of art had been made by the people residing in these walls and it appeared that some of these people had real talent.

Too bad their talent could never truly be recognized seeing as they were 'dead', so to speak. As he walked along the wall on his left dropped away, and he turned almost running head-long into a very tall, dark-skinned, and slightly intimidating man. He had just barely side-stepped to avoid collision when he heard the 'ding' of an elevator announcing its arrival.

He slipped through the doors and into an empty elevator. For a moment he wondered how it was running if there wasn't anyone to keycard the shuttle, but soon found that some good Samaritan had chosen to press all the buttons on the elevator so they could pick up anyone in need of a lift. It rose one floor before he chose to get off. Now on the first floor he began his search for Luffy, first checking the lounge, the mess hall, to no avail. Both of these rooms were completely deserted as if everyone had suddenly decided to pile into a van and drive to Vegas for big bucks and hot dates.

Deciding that he may find Luffy in Ace's office he stepped up to the door and knocked twice. No answer. This time he knocked harder, and called his name. Again no one came to the door. Someone did, however, come to meet the knocking. This wasn't necessarily good news, seeing as he had just barely ducked when the Louisville slugger came crashing into the door above him shattering the shuttered glass window.

**Haha cliffie much? Oh and BTW a Louisville slugger is a baseball bat…duh, but just incase you didn't know…**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry 'bout the late update, but my sister and I were high off gummy-bears if you can believe it. More of a sugar rush but…man we had fun.**

False Pretense 8

The window exploded, showering him in fragments from the destroyed glass. Zoro ducked and hid his face from the shards; instinct told him to head back the way he had come, so he sprinted towards the elevators. The sound of glass crunching underfoot revealed that he was being followed, but he didn't look back at his pursuer for fear that he would be directly behind him, reaching out in an attempt to grasp the back of his shirt.

As he ran the sound of his attacker began to lessen, apparently he was gaining ground. This only proved to worry him, the man he had seen was taller than he, and no doubt would be fit enough to keep up with him, if not club him from behind thirty feet from where he had originally made chase. Something was wrong, and this something had given the man behind him enough confidence to let Zoro gain a hefty head start. Seeing that there were two doors ahead, but only was was left agape, he made the assumption that with his luck the second door wouldn't open and by then the bat-man would have gotten enough of his second wind to clear the ground it took for Zoro to retrace his steps to the open door and beat him to a bloody pulp.

No sooner had this crossed his mind that he flung the door to his left all the way open, only to find himself flat on his back and utterly winded. A second assailant hid behind the doorway, this one armed with an aluminum bat. The man swung, hitting him square in the stomach with such force that he hadn't even had to try to knock him down; inertia had done the rest. The first assailant had settled by the doorframe; he was soon joined by a woman who had most likely been hiding behind the other of the two doors. She had a gun.

This new development was extremely unsettling. If it had been only the two with the bats he may have had a chance of at least wrestling one of the bats away from either of them and then gone off instinct from there. With a gun, however, there is a good chance that he wouldn't get away as easily, if at all.

"Sit up, slowly so I can see you" She stated with such an emotionless bite to her voice that he had no doubt in his mind, despite her girlish appearance, she would not hesitate to shoot him multiple times in the skull. Without moving he tried to regain his breath before gasping:

"What do you want?"

"Get on your knees and put your hands where I can see them. No sudden movements or I'll shoot you dead." If anything, he had more reason to doubt the authenticity of her nose than that of the morbid promise. Slowly shifting into the position she had instructed he frantically tried to come up with a way to get out of the current situation; as he did this, one of the two, the man with the Louisville slugger offered his opinion.

"Just shoot the bitch and let's go."

"Not yet, he might know where to find everyone else," she replied. Crouching down she smiled with a cold sincerity that made his skin crawl "Do you, Hon?" when he didn't answer her happy expression quickly turned into one of annoyance. "Answer me." She demanded thrusting the semi-automatic pistol into his forehead.

He paused for a second to collect himself before answering, quite truthfully that he had no idea in hell where everyone had gone. But no, she couldn't just say 'oh thanks anyway' and walk off, she simply thought he was playing the hero. It appeared that she was both annoyed and concerned. As if she wanted to ice him, but was afraid that he would be the only way she would ever find the other residents.

"I'll ask you again, you tell me where they are, and I don't kill you." she hissed.

At some point up until now Zoro had realized that no matter what he said he was going to be shot point-blank in the face and this lead him to the decision of taking a gamble.

"You kill me and you'll never find them." Of course this was a bluff, for he had no idea where he was, let alone where anyone else was. Sometimes wit is as good a weapon as a gun, for although the pistol remained unwaveringly trained, she didn't shoot him right away. He would have preferred a gun. The woman glared coldly but said nothing; assailant number one looked about ready to beat him with the bat he was currently wringing between his white-knuckled fists, while the second stared on indifferently at something he found entrancing that no one else could see.

"Fine if you won't talk, we'll bring you along. Mr. 5, search him, just in case." The woman was most likely the head of the operation, for as soon as she had finished the command the first of the two attackers stepped behind him and roughly pulled him to his feet. After Mr. 5 had thoroughly made sure that he possessed no potential weapon the woman motioned for the doorway with the barrel of the gun. Mr. 5 and the unnamed lummox stepped through first, followed by Zoro and finally by the weapon bearing woman.

They progressed down the hall silently, Zoro leading the group with both hands on the back of his head, as he had been instructed. After a while Mr. 5 seemed to grow more and more anxious, shuffling his feet and slapping the bat in his palm, until he could no longer stand the unnerving silence.

"When are we supposed to meet the others? Mr. 0 will be pissed if the only one we find is this kid." The woman consulted her watch while the lummox considered what his partner had just said.

"Maybe if we make him scream his friends will come." He offered. The woman nodded.

"You know, that's not a half-bad idea. What's your name boy?"

"It's rude to ask someone's name before you introduce yourself." She gave him a withering look that made him begin to reconsider his choice of words, for a moment he wanted to sink into the floor beneath him.

"Mrs. Valentine. You'll address me as such, if at all. And that's a big if"

"Roronora Zoro and I'll tell you now…even if I scream, no one will come. No one will hear it. You'd be wasting your time."

The only person who could have had a smile that was both as alluring and terrifying as hers was at that moment was the Anti-Christ. Even then it was iffy. "I'll take my chances" She stepped a few paces away and walked over to the lummox who had so contently ensconced himself on one of the many recliners. She leaned towards the man as if to tell him a secret that, without a doubt, would seal his fate. Before any means of wicked torment could grace her delicate lips, however, the elevator rang out. Someone was coming down. She whirred towards the noise, before turning back to the lazy bastard on the couch.

"Mr. 4 would you please go greet our guest?" He blinked before slowly getting to his feet and walking down the hallway towards the elevator. Mr. 5, who up until this point had been standing near one of the revolving doors, shifted positions and moved towards Ace's office, either to get a better view or to avoid any calamity that was sure to follow the new visitor.

Zoro silently prayed that it wasn't Luffy who was riding down the elevator, of everything he didn't want to happen, the worst would be for Luffy to get shot. As if to answer this prayer Mrs. Valentine cocked the hammer, still unwavering from her point-blank shot of his face. The grip she held on the pistol tightened to a point that it appeared she would render the firearm useless by crushing the handle.

The lummox that had left, a good minute ago, calmly returned with the report that no one had been in the elevator. She nearly screamed with frustration, you could practically see the wrenched cry working its way out of her throat. Before this action could be fulfilled, the door on which Mr. 5 had been leaning collapsed inwards, sending a startled Mr. 5 onto the floor. As he fell, a reflexive half-scream-half-squeak escaped his lips and he released the bat in order to try and steady himself. Ace seized the slugger before it even hit the ground, smashing it into the man's skull like a golf club, hard enough to knock him out but not so hard that the collision drew blood. Without skipping a beat he lunged forward and nailed Mr. 4 first in the leg, then on the top of the head once he had dropped to the floor.

As soon as Ace had opened the door two things happened, almost instantly, opposed to his actions. Zoro, who had been waiting for quite some while for an opportunity to escape, seized his chance and ducked, rolling backwards and around the corner. At the same time Mrs. Valentine, who had been startled by the sudden assault, began squeezing off random shot after shot while spraying an arc of ammo across the entire room even after the gun started firing blanks. Zoro stepped out from behind the safety of the wall just as she slipped a new magazine from her pocket and reloaded. Before she could even cock the hammer he bolted up from behind and grasped the wrist that held the gun. Having never been in a fight in his life he simply jerked it from her hand as he had seen people do in so many action movies. Surprisingly enough, it worked and the gun went clattering to the floor.

" You all right?" puffed Ace. From where he stood he bent down and picked up the gun pointing it at Mrs. Valentine who, until he had aimed at her, was writhing in Zoro's grip trying to break free by all means necessary. Zoro nodded as Ace expertly tapped her with the butt of the pistol and she fell limp in his arms. He dropped her emotionlessly to the floor with a dull thud.

"Who the hell are they?"

"They work for Bananawa." With that he shoved the gun into Zoro's hand and walked into his office. Some clattering and shuffling later he reappeared with several rolls of duct tape in each hand. He tossed one to Zoro and the two proceeded to tie the three together and gag them. Once this task was complete he locked them in his office. Ace turned, and pointed at Zoro.

"You're bleeding" Zoro glanced in the direction of the extended finger, sure enough a large spot of blood where a stray bullet had grazed his shoulder stained his shirt and ran down his arm.

"I'm fine, superficial." This earned a frown and slight shake of the head from Ace and he ripped piece of the black curtains off the wall tying it securely around the minor wound. As Ace did this, Zoro started to ask questions much like a curious three year old would.

"Where is everyone?"

"Either hiding or gone"

"Smoker too?"

"No, he's probably still in the building, there's more of those guys around here and we have to look for people like you who are too stupid to evacuate."

"I resent that."

"Good for you." he tightened the knot.

"Where's Luffy?" Ace paused, then looked up questioningly.

"You don't know?" Suddenly Zoro looked more like a four year old who had stolen a cookie from the cookie jar right before dinner.

"Let's go find him then. Where'd ya see him last?"

"I was in the laundry room with Robin and he just walked off."

"Ok, we'll check the basement"

"Hey Ace…thanks" Ace waved his hand dismissively and started down the hall opposite the elevator now heading in the same direction Zoro had run originally, only now they walked through the door that was closed which led to a stair well. Ace took the steps two at a time, Zoro three, and the two started their long descent into the basement. When they reached the ground floor they started down the hallway towards the laundry room. As they got closer the hallway began to grow more and more stuffy, and the smell. The coppery-metallic sent of death. This scared Zoro more than any gun could.

If he had said that he was happy it wasn't Luffy lying dead in the center of the laundry room, it would have been a lie. Robin, the same Robin he had been chatting with only a few moments ago was covered from head to toe in blood. Eyes wide in shock and mouth frozen in an unvoiced scream her appearance would make any horror-centric author squirm in their seat. The floor was slick with blood, and while Ace seemed all but unfazed Zoro had to fight the urge to simultaneously throw up and pass out. He quickly walked from the room and into the hall as Ace moved to no doubt close her mouth and eyes.

In the hallway he took long gasping breaths but no matter how hard he tried could not rid his mind of the haunting image of the woman brutally slaughtered, who lay dead in the adjacent room. He held his eyes shut for a long time until, from behind the lids, came the vivid image of Robin drenched in blood and he abruptly opened his eyes and started to concentrate on the wall. Finding his legs suddenly unstable he sank to the floor and took a deep breath trough his mouth to avoid the reeking scent of death. The air even tasted like death.

"Zoro!" his head snapped upward instantly when someone flung himself at the marimo and began screaming about how he 'was sooooo worried' from the comfortable position in his lap. Like a leech, Luffy clung fast despite the smirk Zoro received when Smoker walked past him and into the laundry room.

"Oh My God! You're bleeding" he shrieked.

""I'm fine. Shut up. Get off me, can't breath." Luffy sat blinking with utter bewilderment as if he just couldn't understand why Zoro wanted him to get off; I mean if it was as comfy a position for him as it was for Luffy they could probably stay like that forever. Finally he jumped up and started following Smoker into the laundry room. Before he could get even two steps away Zoro grabbed his wrist and yanked him back which, coincidentally, caused him to land on Zoro's lap.

He looked puzzled for a moment "I thought you wanted me to get off."

"I was kidding" he replied. Better to have him sitting contently on my lap than have him frozen solid at the sight of yet _another_ person close to him so brutally killed. When Smoker and Ace finally emerged from the laundry room they both smirked broadly, yet half-heartedly, as if they had been discussing it from inside.

Ace was first to speak: "we're gonna show you the way out and get you a car, Ok? Then you're on your own"

"Ace I think you should go with them."

"There's no way I'm going to leave you here all alone." He retorted solidly.

"Ace-"

"nope"

"but-"

"I'm not leaving" Smoker stared at him for a moment as they continued down the hallway. Soon making a left turn and opening a door that lead to more stairs. At the end of this was an even thicker door steel plated and- as Smoker described- both air tight and sound proof. Luffy was the first to stepped through followed by Zoro then Ace and finally Smoker. Or at least it would have been if Smoker hadn't yelled 'stay with them' and slammed and locked the door behind Ace.

Ace cried out in frustration as the tumblers slid into place, still banging his fists on the door. There wasn't a handle on this side of the door in order to prevent anyone from using the escape tunnel to get inside as well. The three stood there for a moment before Ace finally walked them towards the end of the corridor and to yet another staircase, this one set in iron that creaked with every step you took. The three creaked up the steps and onto the street.

The Average Joe house didn't look nearly as Average as it had when Zoro first arrived. Although there wasn't any sign of the calamity it was going through apparent on the exterior, he also knew that there was no way to get inside once the alarm system was activated. Ace reached into his back pocket and plucked a set of keys from the lining. Instantly flipping to the correct key he unlocked the front door of the white Honda and hit the auto-lock towards the 'unlock' position. Just as Ace had slid behind the wheel and started the engine, with Luffy in the passenger's seat and Zoro in the back, the Average Joe house that was only moments ago sitting calmly on the street exploded into a tower of flames.

Ace simply sat staring at the building in a childlike awe that made it look like he would watch it until it had burned to the ground. Finally, after what seemed like hours but was most likely but a few seconds, Luffy worriedly uttered Aces name with such caution that you would think it was taboo, or something like it. Instantly he snapped from the trance and, painting on the most plastic grin he could muster, he pressed the gas and drove down the road just as the charcoal black smoke dyed the sky a horrible jet black hue. The fire burned on.

**We really are sorry it took so long... last week we just weren't in the mood to write, and if we can't write then we can't post so…thanks for being patient with us! **

**Please review! Seriously.**


	9. Chapter 9

**hehe, you can really tell with this chapter that my sister and I are complete and utter CSI junkies and that we also hate CSI: Miami...and Catherine and Sarah! I don't wanna get into a battle here but they get too dang emotional and it just aint good!**

False Pretense 9

Only a thin line of bleeding sunset rested on the horizon as they sped down the interstate to a location yet unknown.

"Where are we going, exactly?" Zoro asked.

"The Thousand Sunny," Ace replied, keeping his eyes glued to the road.

"Oh, thanks for clearing that up." Zoro said sarcastically. The Thousand Sunny is a huge hotel franchise; you can find in just about every major city you go to. Ace took the next exit and the number of cars began to dwindle, first being a small stream and eventually fizzling out, until they were the last car in sight.

Alone on an abandoned road in the middle of nowhere, he pulled the car off onto the shoulder and came to a stop. Leaving the engine idling, he popped the trunk and slipped out the door. He returned a moment later carrying what appeared to be a basic toolbox, or perhaps a storage case for a jack/jumper cables. He flipped the lid revealing a set of gleaming handguns equipped with a bulky silencer at the end.

"It's a Glock, basic for self-defense, pretty common in law-enforcement. Not too hard to fire, although we can't really have a lesson right now, I'll show you how to replace the magazine. Just be careful not to blow your foot off." Ace explained, as if blowing your foot off was a natural result of carelessness.

"Can you really blow your foot off?" Luffy asked, more excited than alarmed by thoughts of dismemberment.

"Ya, you can. Now catch." He tossed the gun across the driver's seat, and Luffy caught it with a squeak as Ace handed one of the pieces to Zoro. "You ever fired one of these things?"

"Nope, but Zoro has." Luffy said, finding every aspect of the Glock interesting enough for a close-up inspection, as if looking for flaws that only a master marksman could spot.

"Only a few times, on a shooting range…"

"He's good."

"Ya, just about good enough to hit the broad side of a barn. Barely" Zoro said.

"Oh, don't be so modest," Luffy laughed "He could hit the _narrow_ side."

"You're mocking me, aren't you?"

"Mocking? Why Zoro, why ever would I do that?" Luffy said in the best I-am-just-an-innocent-boy-stating-my-innocent-opinion voice he could muster. Now satisfied that his gun was-in fact- the coolest thing he had ever seen, Luffy scrambled out the passenger side door and begged Ace to let him try it out. Ignoring that, Ace walked around the anxious teen and moved to grab something else from the trunk.

As He began rummaging around in the trunk both Zoro and Luffy-who had by now been silenced out of curiosity of what ever Ace may be getting from the trunk- joined him at the back of the vehicle. He withdrew a few articles of clothing and haphazardly tossed them to the ground. After a few more seconds of rummaging with annoyed hums to accompany it he finally withdrew three strips of leather. Choosing to exhibit these first he handed one to each of the two and kept one for himself. When he saw the slightly confused look on their faces he smiled.

"Shoulder holsters. Put it on like this…" the two watched for a moment, Zoro instantly strapping his as instructed while Luffy somehow managed to get it strapped around his waist. Backwards. A few moments later all three were securely fastened and concealed by the Sports Jackets he had removed from the trunk earlier. As soon as Ace had thoroughly if not too thoroughly explained how to exchange magazines, how many rounds were in each mag, where to put the spare and so on they got ready to leave.

The sun was now completely below the horizon, although it was still light enough to pass off as daylight. The three slipped into the car, this time Zoro in the passenger's seat- much to Luffy's dismay- and Luffy in the back. The engine turned over and roared to life, Ace pulled off the side of the road just as a tiny dot appeared on the rearview-mirror at least fifty miles away.

Going about seventy mph the Honda cruised smoothly across un-scored pavement. There still wasn't much scenery, the land as incessantly flat and barren as a desert. The difference, as was soon made known, was the quickly accumulating traffic. It seemed as if, now that they had completed the task of familiarizing themselves with the guns, the other drivers had been given permission to drive on this road again. Eventually houses began to dot the roadside more and more frequently until they had arrived in a modest town. The sign on a billboard above a large brick building proudly displayed a team of fierce-looking football players standing next to a ridiculously dressed mascot with the words "Welcome to Water 7, home of the 'Rocket Men'" scrawled above it.

No sooner had they entered the town that Ace pulled into an impressive looking hotel. As soon as he opened the door, both Luffy and Zoro leapt from the car, eager to stretch their legs. Twilight had fully evolved into night. Night clouds crept slowly across the sky as the three headed for the entrance.

­­

The room they entered was quite charming: the walls were painted a dark maroon and the room had been furnished with solid-white furniture. Although this was probably a bad investment, considering that the average person wasn't exactly a hygiene nut and the seat covers had been stained long ago, it added an attractive touch to the room. The carpeting was also white, and-miraculously- remained stain-free.

The blonde woman sitting behind the counter looked up from behind her magazine in time to see them enter, and an over-enthusiastic smile spread across her face. She perked up and waited for them to approach; Zoro assumed she was a newbie and hadn't yet achieved perfect harmony in the polite-without-being-incredibly-creepy look. She wore a nametag on her uniform, it read: Olivia Vivacemente. Nice name.

"How may I help you, sir?" Olivia said with a sweet- if not too sweet- smile.

"Uhh, we need a room. Do you have anything available?" Ace asked. The Thousand Sunny franchise was one of the only places that you could show up without a reservation and be almost guaranteed a room. He was asking only for the sake of being polite.

"Oh! Of course! Just gimme a sec…" She said, typing in a flurry on her keyboard. Olivia stopped typing and rolled back in her desk chair to grab a set of keys from a peg on the wall while reading from the screen. "Let's see… checkout is one o' clock tomorrow morning. Room 206, right down that hall on the right side. Enjoy your stay." She punctuated the last syllable of the sentence with one of those winning cheesy-corny-I-smile-because-my-boss-makes-me smiles. Ace thanked her graciously and headed down the hall, Luffy and Zoro following after him.

With two queen-sized beds covered in floral pattern comforters, the room had the same maroon-and-white décor as the lobby; accept the sofa, which had the same floral pattern as the bed spread. The beds were separated by a short nightstand on top of which rested a lamp and an alarm-clock. Across from the bed was a television set neatly on top of a dresser. Luffy ran over and hopped on the bed, gleefully snatching up the remote control and flipping the TV on. He sat on the edge of the bed, intent on finding the perfect channel, which was damn near impossible as he was flipping the channels so fast that the image was on the screen for less than a second before it switched to a new one.

"I get this bed!" he cried without tearing his eyes from the TV screen where he was now contently watching a rerun of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. Ace walked over to the couch and started to remove the cushions.

"I'll take the fold-out. Zoro, you can have the other bed."

Nodding, Zoro walked to the remaining bed and began to watch CSI just as Ace pulled the retractable mattress from the box spring and unfolded it. Now that the sleeping arrangement had been decided and Ace had fetched an extra pillow from the drawer beneath the TV, he walked over to a telephone sitting on the desk near a window that remained as it was when they first entered: shutters-drawn. He opened a drawer and withdrew a phone book, diligently flicking through the yellow-pages.

Although Luffy's eyes stayed ever-glued to the screen, Zoro took a few feeble seconds to glance up inquiringly and to ask who Ace was calling. He snapped one last page to the left before scanning the page and eventually putting the book down on the desk.

He answered as he dialed in the number: "Pizza, what kind do you want?"

"Pepperoni!" piped Luffy from where he was still adamantly fixated on the TV screen as they were currently conducting an autopsy on a particularly disgusting de-comp. Ace looked to Luffy then back at Zoro, who simply shrugged.

"Pepperoni's good with me." With that he turned back to the screen once again lost in the entrancing rituals of legal procedures that had been thoroughly enhanced by dramatic license. Ace began to order the pizza just as CSI transferred to commercials. As if a charm had been broken, the two began to look around the room, while Luffy's eyes eventually trained hungrily on Ace, Zoro became fixated on Luffy.

"Hey, Luffy?"

The smaller teens head snapped up as he was pulled from the stupor and he beamed up at Zoro as if just the fact that he had spoken to him was an amazing honor.

"Ya?" was all he had to say for himself. So much for that 'great honor.'

"I was wondering, where did you go? I mean back in the laundry room you just sorta…walked off."

"I had to go to the bathroom" he replied, idly picking at his ear as he said so.

"Well, what happened after that, I mean you must have met up with Smoker at some point?" He asked a little softer that before. Although Ace remained oblivious to the conversation and he was surely talking too softly to be heard over the TV's volume by anyone other than Luffy Ace none the less glanced up warily, while he was still trying to communicate his message to the recipient on the other end. There was an apparent misconception, seeing as he was repeating over and over a simple order of two large pepperoni pizzas and a two liter of Pepsi.

Luffy paused for a second before answering in the same hushed tone.

"Well, I had to go to the bathroom so I went up to my room 'cause I think the bathrooms that everyone uses are disgusting. So anyway I went up to the bathroom and once I finished I started down the stairs again but before I could get to it I heard the elevator. When I got there I saw really big guy that I've never seen before but he just ignored me so I didn't think anything of it."

"Was this guy freakishly tall, really muscular, dark skin-tone, and bald…well buzzed?"

"Ya that's the guy… so anyway all the buttons on the elevator were pressed so I hopped in. The first floor I stopped on Smokey was standing there looking particularly angry. I though he was gonna bite my ass off but he seemed sorta relieved to see me…after that we took the stairs down to the basement and met up with you guys." He concluded.

"Do you know who the big guy might have bee-"

"Ya that's right two large pepperoni pizzas and a two liter of Pepsi. Thank you." Frustrated Ace slammed the phone onto the receiver and let out a long, annoyed breath. "My God that woman didn't understand a word I was saying! I think she was Vietnamese or something."

He settled down onto the couch and began watching CSI, which had resumed its broadcast without either Luffy or Zoro noticing. The three fell into content silence, occasionally commenting about how 'the women are too emotional for this job' and how 'that "Brass" guy needs to hurry up and spit out whatever he wants to say 'cause he's talking too slow' and other comments of the like until the doorbell rang halfway into a second episode, now investigating the death of a cocktail waitress. Zoro ran to the door, paid the delivery boy without a tip which Ace generously supplied, and the three ate all the way through the rest of the episode.

After this episode ended the CSI marathon was over as well, to be replaced by CSI: MIAMI. It was unanimously agreed that this variation sucked eggs and the three decided to settle for an old western that was ok, but not really that interesting. Ace sat on Zoro's bed, seeing as the couch put him at an angle where he would be unable to watch the movie and Luffy and Zoro were sitting on Luffy's bed, side by side. At first Luffy was utterly interested in the firing of guns and cocky attitudes but eventually the excited comments faded until stopping completely. About thirty minutes into the movie Ace glanced to the right and instantly wished he had a camera.

Both Zoro and Luffy were fast asleep. Luffy tilted sideways with his head resting on Zoro's stomach and Zoro with one arm around Luffy's waist. The two were completely content and showed no sign of discomfort. Ace flipped off the TV, having lost interest in the western, and walked over to the two. He draped a blanket over them which caused Zoro to shift slightly and Luffy to whine in protest. Soon they settled and with a sigh of satisfaction Luffy shrugged deeper into the blanket. With that, Ace climbed into his own bed although it seemed a waste to leave a perfectly good and real bed unused Zoro could very well wake up and decide to move in the middle of the night. He flicked off the table lamp and the room slipped into a hazy gloom punctured only by the glow of the alarm clock.


	10. Chapter 10

False Pretense 10

"Hey… wake up." Zoro groaned and rolled over, slamming the pillow on top of his head.

"Come on! We're checking out soon! Get your lazy asses out of bed!" Zoro let out another groan and sat up, blinking furiously against the sunlight filtering in through the blinds. Next to him was Luffy, eyes pinched closed tightly in an attempt to stay asleep, as though the action would ward away the sun. Zoro slipped off the bed and heaved a pillow at Luffy, which caused him to squeak because 1) he hadn't expected it and 2) it was too early for someone to be throwing things at him.

Suddenly realizing that it was morning and therefore breakfast time, Luffy hopped out of bed with such sudden energy that you would think his reluctance to get up had been an act. Luffy immediately headed for the left over pizza sitting on the counter while Zoro ensconced himself on the sofa with Ace, who had been sitting there watching them pry themselves from the bed with amusement. Zoro glanced at the clock.

"Wait, I thought check out was at one. We've still got like, 3 hours."

"Oh it is, I was just getting bored watching you two sleep, and there's nothing good on TV. Besides, it's better to keep on the move anyway." Ace said.

"And how long, exactly, are we going to 'keep on the move'?" Zoro asked.

"Either until they stop looking for us or we go somewhere that they can't find us."

Luffy whined in the back of his throat, meaning that he had eaten all of the pizza and was unsatisfied. Eyeing the mini-fridge as a child would a cookie jar, Luffy began to scoot towards it in a way he thought was inconspicuous.

"Don't even think about it." Ace said, not even giving Luffy a second glance, "If you're that hungry you can grab something from the lobby when we go to check out. They should have the breakfast out… Get a doughnut or something."

"Well, I'm hungry _now_ so let's go check out!" Without giving Ace a chance to protest, Luffy walked out the door and into the hall. Zoro and Ace followed him down the corridor to the lobby, but just before they had gone in Ace gestured for them to stop. He turned around swiftly and retraced his steps back towards their room. Passing it, he ran up the steps.

"Did you see them?" he asked, walking down the hall.

"See _who_, Ace?" Luffy said, matching his tone of voice.

"No, not who. _How_. There is no way they could have found us that easily. Not with out some sort of tracking device. But they couldn't have planted one on the car, I would have noticed it when I gave you the Glock yesterday." He said, scanning the hall in front of them and taking frequent glances back from where they had come. "So they either had a very skilled tail and we didn't notice. Which I doubt. Or they planted a tracking device somewhere else, because I know they didn't just get lucky. Turn out your pockets." They did as they were told, but neither Luffy nor Zoro had anything resembling a transmitter.

"Give me your phone, Zoro."

"My phone? Why?" he asked, handing it to him. Ace ignored his question as he looked over the cell, then gripped the phone and pulled it apart at the seam. "What are you doing? You just broke my phone in half!"

"No I didn't. False back. However long you've had this phone, they've been watching." He handed the phone back to Zoro, keeping the other half in his hand. He walked down the last stretch of hallway and back down the steps, making a complete circle around the lobby and back to their room. He slid the key card through the slot and pitched the transmitter in the garbage bin before closing the door behind again.

"So should we go out the back then?" asked Luffy who, in retrospect, didn't seem all that worried.

"Nah, they aren't stupid there'll be people waiting for us out back." Replied Ace, his brow furrowing in thought.

"Well, then what do we do?" he asked.

"Well…were gonna need some kind of diversion so we can slip out to the car without them noticing." He sighed, eyes wandering across the hallway as if the answer would be written on the walls. The hallway was deserted, which led them to believe that the guys from earlier were going to wait for them to come into the lobby. Suddenly Zoro, who had been leaning on the wall for some time now spoke up.

"I have an idea but I don't know if it will work and you're gonna think I'm insane …"

"Well I'm sure it better than nothing so go for it."

"fair enough." With that he reached to his left and grasped a handle jutting for the wall that was hung at about waist level. Almost immediately alarms went off throughout the entire building and the sprinklers overhead went off. People from nearby rooms began to flood the halls.

A cacophony of voices began to grow as parents and children, lovers and friends began to flood the wide hallways until there was barely enough room to walk. Everyone was heading for the lobby, most likely because most of them didn't trust their knowledge of the layout of the hotel to try and go a different way, although it was certainly safer than everyone leaving via the same route. That or the fact that anyone who tried to go in the opposite direction than the mob would most likely be trampled. Small children were hoisted off the ground and families were clinging to each other for dear life in order to stay together. Even though everyone knows that in a fire you need to be calm and exit the building quietly, everyone seemed to disregard this seeing as they were practically yelling to family and friends in order to be heard over other screaming patrons.

In the lobby, there was quite a few of the hotel staff trying to calm everyone and keep them from panicking, at least until they were outside. No where in the room, however, could the people who had alarmed Ace a few minutes be seen. More likely than not the staff had already ushered them outside and, not wanting to cause a scene or attract attention to themselves they happily obliged.

Going with the flow, the three walked-shoved-stumbled with the panicky and obnoxiously loud crowd until they had gotten outside. The noise outside was even greater than it had been inside because, combined with the people who were extremely worried about their possessions, there was also a buzz of excitement traveling through the crowd now that they were out of immediate danger. Sirens wailed in the distance, signaling the approach of an emergency fire-rescue vehicle. Still unable to assailants, they calmly inched towards the parking lot and power-walked to the second row of cars. Ace got into the drivers seat and both Luffy and Zoro slipped into the back. They pulled out as quickly as they could without flattening a pedestrian, which was in no way quick, considering the lot was swarming with a mob of people.

After what seemed like hours- but couldn't have been more than a few minutes- they had pain-stakingly pulled out of the lot and onto the road. The car was silent and the tension in the air was tangible, as though they were expecting their escape plan to fail at any moment, even after they had pulled it off without a hitch.

After driving in silence and watching the Thousand Sunny Hotel vanish on the road behind them, they finally relaxed, convinced that they had avoided catastrophe.

"Are you a moron? When I told you to _go for it_ I meant _tell_ me your idea, not put it into action and hope we don't die!"

"I dunno Ace," Luffy said "I thought it was a pretty good idea."

"No, no. A _good _idea would have been to climb out the window. A _good_ idea would have been to look for another exit. That was not a good idea. That was stupid!"

"But it worked." Zoro said.

"Ya, well, you're lucky it did, because if I had died I would have killed you." Ace said, exasperated. "… So… Where do we go now?" he asked no one in particular. Their silence continued for a few minutes.

"I think I have an idea." Zoro said.

---

A sour-yellow light washed from the inside of the house, gleaming between the blinds. Images flickered across the television screen. Usopp and Nami were focused contently on the screen. The events of the week had taken their toll on the two, for they were struggling to keep their eyes open, but they refused to stop watching their show. The hum of the microwave and the tell-tale 'pink ponk' of the kernels suggested that Sanji was making popcorn in the kitchen. He hadn't been near as interested in the television as the other two, so he offered to make popcorn, maybe grab a few cokes. The other two gratefully agreed.

Both lie casually on the sofa, Usopp with his feet on the coffee table in front of him, while Nami kept in an at least decent posture, seeing as she was a guest. However, you don't have to be courteous in your own home, as so Usopp took advantage. The room was dark other than the light filtering in thorough the slit beneath the kitchen door and the pulsing light of the television. Just as Sanji entered, bearing three cans of name-brand soda and a large bowl of popcorn, the room pulsed with such intensity that the shadows in the room danced.

Sanji plopped down to the left of Nami, sandwiching her between the two men. The two instantly tore at the bowl until at least half its content had been eaten. Sanji made a motion for Usopp to turn it up, which he quickly obliged. Just as the scene switched from a mellow moment in the film to a more dramatic climatic statement someone knocked at the door. Sanji stood.

"I'll get it."

"No no," Nami interjected, grabbing his arm and pulling him to sit beside her, "Usopp's got it."

"But he was just going to go get it…"

She glanced at him "Ya but this is the most important part of the movie, he can't miss it!"

"Oh, so I can though?"

"Well the more you argue the more you miss"

Usopp sighed and stood, quickly rushing to the door and peering out the peep-hole. No one. Scoffing at an annoying attempt at a prank Usopp turned away, just as the knocking came again. Skeptically, he turned to look out the peep hole once more. There was still no one standing there, no girl scout with cookies, no pastor trying to convert him towards a different faith, nothing. This time, however, he could have sworn that _someone_ was standing just beyond that door but, by some grace of God, couldn't be seen from through the peep-hole. He pulled open the door.

---

"This is a stupid idea. Suicidal even." Ace said, turning onto a residential street.

"No it's not. I think it's our best bet." Zoro replied, peering warily at the empty road behind them.

"This is pure stupidity. You're dead, they'll probably think you're a freaking zombie! They might not even answer the door." He said, slowing down and turning down one of the roads Zoro motioned to.

"Then why are we going?" Luffy asked.

"… Because it's our best bet. But it's too obvious, so we can't stay long…"

"Glad you agree. Besides, we can figure out the details when we get there… That grey house on the left, park a few blocks down." Ace drove past the house without slowing down and parked down the street, just as he was instructed.

They walked down to the house as quietly as possible, trying to appear casual even with no witnesses in sight. Walking up the sidewalk, Zoro took a position next to the door while Ace and Luffy stood back and to the left. Zoro rapped sharply on the door and waited.

After waiting what seemed like and eternity, he knocked yet again, positive that they had either not heard him, or weren't _home_ to hear him. Again there was a pause, and the door swung into the house. Usopp stuck his head out the door, saw Zoro, and after overcoming a moment of shock, he moved to slam the door. Zoro stuck him foot in the way and pushed into the room.

**Thankies for reading, and especially thankies for those of you who take the time to review. It really does mean a lot. We don't just enjoy them- we **_**thrive**_** off of them. **


	11. Chapter 11

**OK! False Pretense is officially off hold! Strange, I thought it would be longer than this . ahh well, that's a good thing I guess…hope ya like this chapter, and thanks to those who reviewed, it's a huge help. Between School and extracurricular activities it's sorta hard to fit writing in as well. We're doing our best, but semester exams are coming up and things are stressful, so don't expect an update every week but we really will try!**

**Please review!**

False Pretense 11

Usopp cried out in surprise when he was pushed back across the threshold and into the den. Stumbling backwards and with a slight teeter in his step he retreated profusely to press his back to the far wall. Nami and Sanji, who had until then been ensconced comfortably on the sofa, jerked their heads towards the noise. Sanji stood and took a few steps towards the door. From the view-point of the sofa it was impossible to see the front door. Luffy slipped in behind Zoro and closed the door.

"Zoo-ooo-oombies!" Usopp yelled in an over-dramatic yet effectively earsplitting tone.

"Good to see you too, Usopp." Luffy said, turning around the corner and crossing the room towards the sofa, where Nami, Sanji, and the popcorn (which had no chance) sat in shocked silence, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. The only sound in the room was the quiet thwup-thwup-thwup of rain just beginning to drop on the roof. Nami was staring intently until something finally seemed to click in her mind. She started to scream. Unlike Usopp, with his direct accusation of 'zombies', and Nami with her unintelligible screaming Sanji was much more realistic.

"This is a dream. We've fallen asleep while watching television, that's the only explanation." He said, handing the popcorn to Luffy, who had been leaning over Nami to reach it. Whether it was because she was no longer being horded for popcorn or because of Sanji's explanation the red-head stopped screaming almost as abruptly as she had started.

"Z-Zoro? And Luffy! What the hell is going on here!" asked Usopp who had since regained at least some of his composure.

"Ne, Zoro? Where did Ace go?" Luffy asked, totally ignoring Usopp's demand for information.

"I'm over here" said Ace, pushing through the door leading to the kitchen. Luffy smiled suddenly remembering that Sanji's fridge was always fully stocked he started for the door from which Ace had just entered through. Zoro grabbed him and yanked back, earning a moan and a great deal of resistance.

"What were you doing?" Zoro asked, addressing Ace from where he had seated himself on the sofa with one hand still hooked idly around Luffy's belt (much to Nami's dismay, as she had quickly retreated to the farthest end of the seat.)

"Rummaging through the fridge" Ace replied "You've got every damn thing you would ever need to eat, don't you?"

"How did you get in my house? And my fridge? I keep it locked!" Sanji said.

"It's a dream, remember?" Nami said "Strange things happen in dreams."

"Nami, it's not a dream." Usopp said. Outside, the rain had begun to come down harder and in fatter drops. Lightning flashed across the sky, illuminating the room, and was followed seconds later by a crash of thunder.

"Oh? And how do you figure that?"

"I dunno, ask the zombies." He stated bluntly, turning to Zoro for enlightenment. "Zoro Zombie? Explain to Nami why this isn't a dream."

"Well…" He started, just as Ace inched slightly closer to whisper into Luffy's ear.

"You have strange friends."

"Ya they're a hoot at parties…" Luffy whispered in reply. Ace nodded his consent.

"I can definitely believe that" He raised his voice, addressing everyone. "Well, as much as we would love to stay and decide whether zombies or dreams are more plausible, we already decided we would be here for only a little while, and hour at most." Nami leaned forward in her seat.

"But you haven't even explained yet!" she cried defiantly "you can't just come in here for a chat and then leave just as quickly without any notice! That isn't fair!"

Ace seemed to contemplate, or at least consider what she had said; but only for a moment. After which he apologized copiously and offered to explain. As he wound tales of false pretense, violence, and corruption Luffy quickly and quietly slid from Zoro's grasp without notice and slipped into the kitchen.

The kitchen was certainly well kept, bright, shining white linoleum floors and gleaming walls to match. It was very nice looking, matching décor and perfectly clashing colors to make the perfect atmosphere for a serious chef. It held all of the essentials and some thing which your average housewife would have never heard of and yet it was certain that Sanji operated it with the utmost ease and grace.

The appliances were primarily a bright and shining stainless-steel color that made everything look just that much more official. On the far wall just above and to the right of a steely colored microwave there was a large window, the white drapes pulled closed so as to repel any unwanted privacy violators. But two feet to the right of that stood a doorway, one screen door and one wooden. Both of which were closed and locked. All in all the room was quite well lighted with one large florescent overhead fixture and a few various spotlights directed at the stove and surrounding countertops, operated by at least five different switches on the far wall; although he was sure that at least two of them were for the ventilation and garbage disposal.

Of course, Luffy took no notice in the least to any of this, seeing at first off, he had been in Sanji's kitchen so many times that he could easy access anything he wanted to eat while wearing a blindfold and second he was oh-so-much-more interested in the pantries, cupboards, fridge, and their contents.

He first moved to the small cupboards along the wall to the left. This was the area that Sanji and Nami kept most of the dry snack foods such as chips, crackers, cookies, and anything else of the like. He pulled open the sheik door and quickly scanned the shelves. This particular are was small, holding much less than the other storage areas. Apparently Sanji was overdue for a shopping trip, seeing as the cupboard held next to nothing of interest. None the less, Luffy grabbed a package of Ritz crackers and closed the cabinet haphazardly. Next he moved toward the Pantry, more or less a larger version of the cabinet. The pantry held less edible foods than the cabinets mostly because everything was either uneasy to make or not snackfood-ish to satisfy. It held foods better suited for supper than for a mid-meal snack. Soups, hard noodles, oatmeal, dry dressing and a few spices in the side-door. Grimacing with annoyance Luffy slid the door shut and moved on to the fridge, which was sure to be promising.

He opened the door and smiled, grabbing a 24 oz. bottle of Pepsi and a box of left-over pizza. Grabbing a few slices from the box he replaced it and smiled. There was a reason he had saved the fridge for last. Sanji always had good stuff in the fridge.

Munching on cold pizza and washing it down with and bottle of illicit Pepsi Luffy went walking through the kitchen door and into the living room quite casually just as Ace was finishing up his story.

"Luffy. I swear, if my fridge is empty…" Sanji threatened absently while keeping his attention on Ace. Luffy joined them on the sofa.

"Why do they want you guys? It doesn't make sense…" Nami said.

"I should think that just because we survived is reason enough. We know more than they can stand anyone to know, and although we can't use it to incriminate them at all, they won't take any chances. Genetic testing on humans, especially against their will, is a serious federal crime, not to mention that Bananawa hold an incredibly large amount of stock and runs a large think tank. The government would be at a great loss, so they would only charge them for the offence if it went public. They'd rather jus cover the whole thing up. That's why we need to keep on the move, so they can't track us." Ace replied.

"On the move huh? Don't you think that you could stay the night?" Sanji invited.

"… I don't know. We really need to move as soon as we possibly can…"

"What's one night going to do? There is no way they could track us in one night; that would be insane. We got rid of the transponder. We can be gone by tomorrow. No problem." Luffy grinned and gave Ace a terribly pathetic, pleading look. Ace held his gaze, then rolled his eyes.

"Well _see_. Don't be surprised if I wake you up at 3 o' clock to bolt." Luffy grinned like a maniac because he knew that he had won. Ace added "Just stay away from the windows. You're dead, after all." With their sleeping arrangements decided, they began to settle themselves. Zoro grabbed the remote and flipped the channel.

"You bastard, I was watching that!" Sanji cried, attempting to snatch the remote.

"Shut up, I haven't watched TV in like, three months. I've earned irrevocable rights." Zoro replied smugly. Little did Sanji know that he had been watching TV just last night. None the less, the comment went undisputed. He kicked his feet up on the coffee table and squirreled the remote away under his seat cushion.

**Hahah, I'm such a nerd but every time I hear the term 'squirreled away' it makes me smile like an idiot. I'm so dorky, Jesse agrees.**


	12. Chapter 12

False Pretense 12

Zoro woke to sunlight shining brightly in his eyes. The offending light was pouring in through a window very high up on the wall, shades drawn but at just the right angle to shine light in his eyes. The only purpose said window served was, in fact, to allow light into the room. He groaned slightly and rolled out of bed, onto the hard carpeted floor. Standing he popped his back loudly, grimacing at the uncomfortable crick in his neck. Apparently, since he had earned irrevocable rights to the TV he had also earned the rights to sleep on the couch since there weren't enough beds to house them all, even after Usopp left to sleep in his own bed. Had to defend his title, after all.

Some good-smelling stuff was coming from the kitchen so obviously first impulse was to get breakfast. He walked casually into the kitchen and pulled up a chair. Sitting backwards, with the back of the chair between his legs simply because he felt like it, he helped himself to what was left of the food after Luffy, Ace, Nami, and Sanji, but mostly Luffy had mowed it over.

"Zoro's awake" chimed Luffy, stating the bluntly obvious. "Now we just have to wait until Usopp gets here and we can go!" Zoro shoveled another spoonful of eggs into his mouth.

"When's he gonna get here? We should be long gone by now…" Ace impatiently puffed as he, for what must have been the tenth time walked to the blinds and peeled that back just enough to look onto the street without being seen himself. Zoro too a bite of toast.

"Don't worry about it. He probably slept in or something….maybe stopped off for a cup of coffee." Said Nami from behind her newspaper.

"No, no something's wrong. They probably jumped him on his way home or something." Zoro chugged a glass of OJ and reached to refill it.

"Again with the 'they'. You're paranoid you know that?" She insisted. Munch. Another bite of toast.

Instead of answering Ace simply hummed with annoyance. Luffy stood, just as Zoro finished his meal and stood as well. Both started for the living room.

"Where're you going?" Sanji protested.

"Living room" stated Luffy.

"Gonna watch some TV" Zoro added.

"You know idle hands are the devils workshop"

Four eyebrows raised in unison.

"Dishes, now, both of you." comprehension spread across both boys like the plague and they grudgingly grabbed the dishes and started their protests that Sanji need a dishwasher, the soap smelled funny, etcetera, etcetera. Ace crossed over to the blinds again. Sanji walked into the living room, ensconced himself on the sofa, and reached for the remote—which wasn't there. Growling in annoyance, he pulled cushions up and snatched it up. Zoro had a habit of doing that. He began flipping channels.

Luffy handed Zoro a wet and sudsy plate. Zoro moved to dry it before stopping and looking at it.

"Luffy, you have to rinse it before I can dry it."

"What? I did rinse it!" Zoro wiped the soap off and flicked the bubbles at Luffy.

"No, you didn't." With that he grabbed the hose from the side of the sink to finish rinsing it, just as Luffy –with a defiant "I can do it!"- turn the faucet on full blast. The hose squirted Zoro right in the face, and got his shirt fairly wet in the split-second it took for him to release the handle. He blinked before turning the nozzle on Luffy.

"Stop!" Luffy tried to cover the hose with one hand and turn the sink off with the other. He turned the sink down before grabbing a half-full glass of water floating in the sink and promptly emptying it on Zoro's head.

"What are you two doing? Didn't your mother's teach you any manners?" Ace asked.

"Nope." Luffy replied defiantly.

"My parents taught me their own refined version of manners." Zoro squirted Luffy with the hose again. Nami, deciding she had had enough, thumped them both on the head.

"Jeez, look at the mess you made… Start mopping it up." She shoved a rag in Luffy's hand. "There's a mop in the closet, Zoro." She walked into the living room and disappeared from view. Zoro moved for the closet while Luffy swiped the rag across the counter, sending most of the water to the floor. He grinned and swiftly pushed the rest off the counter while Zoro was digging in the closet. When he came back with the mop he looked questioning at his suddenly larger puddle before shrugging it off and mopping the water up while Luffy snickered happily.

The floor was once again dry when Sanji came in and tossed the two a change of clothes. Zoro smirked.

"Why'd you keep our clothes?" He quirked an eyebrow. "That's weird."

"Oh, just in case you happened to come back as dream zombies, then happened to slip and fall in the toilet." Sanji smirked and Zoro scowled.

"Good thing, huh Zoro?" Luffy said eagerly, obviously not understanding the insult. Sanji laughed as Zoro headed out the room to change, Luffy on his heals. He turned around, just about to join Nami elsewhere, when he saw Ace peel back the blinds—again.

"Relax. Lord, you're overreacting. Get a grip." Just as Ace prepared to protest he heard a car in the driveway. He returned to the blinds. "I told you there was nothing to worry about." Usopp opened to door from the garage and entered the kitchen, seeing as he had a garage-door opener and his own set of house keys.

"Sorry I'm late, I stopped at Mc Donald's to grab a quick bite, when I saw Kaya sitting ALL ALONE, so being the valiant Usopp-sama, I decided to join her, and she said the funniest thing…"

"Yah, you know that's great, but we have to hurry, so please give me the keys."

"Wait, wait, and wait. Might I ask just where you are planning to go?" Usopp asked.

"I already told you that I can't tell you."

"I don't really like that answer, try again." A tell-tale tick appeared on Ace's forehead.

"Seriously, we have to go…"

"Seriously, tell me where you're going. I'm not going to just give you my car, my _beautiful_ car, and not know where it's going." Usopp puffed out his chest "I demand you tell me." He added over-dramatically. Ace gave him a look that suggested he was seriously considering mugging him and grabbing the keys. He heaved a sigh.

"I was planning on going to their headquarters and changing some of the data. Now give me the keys." He promptly held out his hand. Usopp shook his head.

"Nope, expound." Ace glared at him.

"It's a big company, okay? We're three people. I was planning on going and erasing our names from the data banks, labeling us dead or something like that, and just disappearing. There are so many names in that file that three less would make no difference." Usopp studied him before handing him the keys.

"So that means you're not going to fight them?"

"Not yet… Maybe not ever. I don't know." Luffy and Zoro returned with new, dry clothes on, and Ace ended the conversation. He grabbed the doorknob.

"Oh, and Ace? I'm not sure if this is important, but that car out there has been sitting down the block since I left last night. No one on this street owns a Yukon, and even though the windows are tinted, I think there's a guy in there." Ace let go of the knob.

"… Thanks."

He'd been sitting in the damn car waiting for _something_ to happen, but since last night, the only thing that has happened was that damned long-nosed kid leaving and coming back. The car was hot and stuffy, and he wasn't even sure what he was waiting for, considering it was a total half-witted hunch that brought him here in the first place. Thinking like the three for whom he was waiting, he just assumed they would come here eventually, and seeing their car about one hundred yards down the road had been encouraging.

The garage door began to slide up, and he leaned forward in his seat expectantly. Once the door was entirely open, he waited for the car to pull out, but it didn't. After sitting for several minutes without any movement, he leaned forward further in an attempt to catch a glimpse of the driver. The garage door began to close.

"Damn it, just a fluke…" He mumbled under his breath, slumping back in his seat. A terrible, tortured-rubber shrieking came from the driveway as the car shot out of the garage, barely avoiding the descending door. The driver made a much-too-sharp left turn, causing him to fishtail into a ninety degree turn before stopping completely and then shooting off in the opposite direction that the Yukon was facing. Swearing under his breath, he whorled the car around, tearing through several lawns before tramping the accelerator and rocketing after them.

**Haha! High speed car chase! Man, will I have fun. And before any of you ask why cops would even allow this, remember: They don't bother worrying about speeding vehicles; they're too busy trying to find out who ripped the tags off the mattresses in Wall Mart. What troopers (It is a federal crime, after all)! Oh, by the way, Mr. Mystery Guy, good luck making sharp turns in your 'precision instrument of speed and aerodynamics' 3 I wonder why we picked a Yukon… Maybe because it's scary and just screams "I will jump out and mug you." Gotta look intimidating. –winks- Review and Mystery guy will end up being the person you want him to be. Cm'on, you all have guesses on who it is –wink- Haha, winking disorder today… -wink-**


	13. Chapter 13

**My sister and I came up with an idea that will probably take us to the end of the story, and we're suddenly excited to write again. That's probably thanks to you guys and all the great reviews we're getting –waves- keep it up!**

False Pretense 13

"What the hell, what the hell?" Zoro chanted as the car made another too-close-for-comfort turn. The Yukon behind them kept pace, tearing through a hedge on the corner because it clearly couldn't turn as well as the mustang, and the driver knew that. Luffy, from his position in the passenger's side seat, seemed to be having the time of his life. With a need for speed rivaled by none, Ace had no problem tearing through the streets, barely making corners and nearly rolling at particularly sharp turns; all without his safety harness on. As their and their pursuer's cars tore through a cross section Zoro repeated his incantation three more times, this time with an answer.

"I'm gonna try and loose 'um, but we're gonna have to get another car after this." With some consideration he added. "Dammit! How the hell do they keep finding us?"

Another turn; the Yukon followed.

The rows and rows of houses were slowly dwindling as Ace drove southeast towards the highway. Sanji and Nami lived in the heart of one of the largest residential neighborhoods in Rouge Town, which meant that there wouldn't be much traffic until they got a little closer to the highway, but there would be other obstacles: Parked cars, trees, and God forbid, pedestrians. Ace drummed his finger on the steering wheel fitfully; fully aware that if he couldn't lose the Yukon soon then people, himself included, could get hurt. Going 70 mph in a 35 zone was the least of his worries, nor did he have to worry about being unable to make a turn at his current speed. He made a hard turn to the left, and both Luffy and Zoro slid sideways with the motion.

"Put your seatbelts on!" he snapped, simply not in the mood for stupidity despite the fact that he wasn't wearing one himself. As both complied he made one more turn to the left, getting irritated at the Yukon for following so closely and precisely without missing a beat. In fact, he could almost swear that it was gaining.

It was, the old '65 model Mustang, although well taken care of, couldn't compete with the Yukon, despite its advantage in aerodynamics. He could now clearly see the windshield of the Yukon, and the silhouette of the driver; however, the tinted glass was impervious of all prying eyes. His attention turned to the road again he was suddenly aware of the eerie quite of the car. In the rearview mirror it appeared that Zoro was going to puke, but was otherwise fine, and Luffy, although he had an eccentric grin stretching across his features, remained passive as well.

In such a short time the scenery had changed drastically from the quiet residential area to an even quieter, almost barren stretch of land on which the southeastern highway ran. With no more turns on which to lose speed, the Yukon jumped forward, now directly alongside the Mustang, as if to pass it. But only for a moment, as oncoming traffic forced it back behind the Mustang once more. On this particular highway the speed limit was 50. They were going about 80.

About 100 yards ahead was a turnoff, which Ace took without switching his turn signal on. The Yukon tuned as well, but not fast enough, as a large Semi slipped between it and the Mustang. Their speed decreased drastically, but in those few moments that the Yukon was behind the Semi Ace managed to slip onto an almost completely unused road, much like the one they had been on two days earlier when he had first shown Luffy and Zoro the Glocks. For a moment he though that they had lost it, only slightly aware of conversing occurring between Zoro and Luffy.

The scenery had switched from urban to rural now sporting cliffs on each side of the road filled with lush greenery, yet crisp from last nights rain. In any other circumstance it would have been breathtaking, but adrenaline had taken their breath away long ago. He heard Luffy ask Zoro if he was ok, and Zoro assuring him that his longevity had just been slashed in two. Luffy laughed and Ace allowed himself to relax slightly.

The road wound tightly in a slapdash pattern through trees and brush, rock formations and Cliffside; all of which remained natural and unusually beautiful. In as chaotic an entrance as anyone in his position could have hoped for the Yukon tore through the trees on the top of the left cliff, scattering leaves, saplings, and brush of the like onto the road. It dropped about ten feet, and landed about 20 yards ahead, blocking the road almost entirely. As it bounced efficiently, Ace applied the brakes and came to a full stop. Before the car even started to skid the driver of the Yukon was out and in plain view, arms extended in a display of resignation.

"What the hell…" Zoro stared at the man. It couldn't be… he'd been in the building when it had gone up in flames.

"Hey!" Luffy grinned and flung open the door. "Hey Smoker!" Luffy leapt from the car and began to wave, as if he wasn't sure whether he would be seen. Ace stepped out of the car as well.

"Get back in the car, Luffy." Luffy looked curiously at Ace. He was pointing a gun at Smoker. His lips were pressed into a thin line and he wore a hard look on his face. "In the car now, Luffy."

"But why? I mean…"

"We don't know if that's really Smoker. We don't know who the hell he is." His finger tightened around the trigger "It could be just another unfortunate employee of Bananawa, who happened to have had the right reaction to experimentation. It's not unheard of for a nobody to be assigned to a suicide mission."

"But look at him! It's Smoker." Luffy protested.

"Remember Bon Kurei?" Luffy did remember. He'd been one of the people living on his floor. Bon Kurei was able to turn his face into anyone else's, just by touching him. "There could be others just like him." Luffy paused before nodding. "Now get back in the car; I'll check it out." As Luffy climbed into the back seat with Zoro, Ace cautiously approached Smoker, who'd been patiently waiting. Although Ace's back was to them, it appeared he'd said something, because Smoker answered back. There was a pause before Smoker grinned and said something else. He lowered his hands. The two made a few more exchanges, more casual than not, before Ace re-holstered his gun and the two walked back to where Zoro and Luffy were waiting patiently. Smoker reached out and pulled the door open on Zoro's side, while Luffy flew out the opposite door. Zoro followed and Ace walked over as well.

"I guess we're switching cars then. If you want, you can call your friend and tell him where he can pick up his car." Ace mumbled as the searched the front seat for anything that he might have accidentally left behind. Luffy nodded and ran off to make the call while Zoro and Smoker simply stood watching in disinterest before the two finally climbed into the Yukon without saying a word. Luffy came in next, reporting that Usopp would come get his car in an hour, and Ace came last after checking every nook and cranny of the car and also wiping off the steering wheel, dash, and anywhere else that may harbor fingerprints.

Ace was the the passengers' seat, with Smoker driving and Zoro and Luffy in the two seats in the back. The rest of the seats were folded down. "So what's the plan?" Luffy chimed.

Ace paused, before gazing up at Smoker questioningly.

"Well, what now?" he asked bluntly. For a moment Smoker just stared at him, then he turned in his seat, addressing Zoro.

"Pull up the seat behind you and take out the briefcase hidden beneath it"

Zoro half-turned did a quick double-take then pulled up the seat and removed the briefcase. "Wow, you've sure got this thing tricked out don't you?" he asked as he handed over the case. Ignoring the question completely he turned back to Ace.

"I've already got an idea, but its risky. There's a good chance we'll all die in the process."

Luffy beamed up at him. "As long as there's a chance we'll all live, I'm game."

**And there you have it for that chapter, equip with a brand new mystery-plan. Oh the suspense…not really… ahh well, just expect a minor time skip next chapter(so we don't catch you off guard) and I hope you enjoy!**

**Review if you can find the will power to click a button and type a few words. (I know, be strong!) **

**I'm actually really glad I could update 'cause we just got this great idea and then our internet crashes. It hadn't been working for 4 days and we finally called utilities. It was fixed in 2 mins... over the phone. I think I'm technologically retarded. But I think its funny cause I'm waaaay ecstatic to be back on the computer! Its like an emotionally reunion TT just gimme a minute….**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hooray for time skips! –cheers- Rated T for language, kiddies! Some people just can't control their potty mouths –clucks tongue as if I'm not one of them-**

False Pretense 14

"Stay close when we get inside." Smoker ordered. He had been driving the Yukon through the forest for almost a half an hour. He parked the car behind a large thicket, where the trees were relatively closer together and the bushes shielded most of the vehicle from view, but still provided a route of escape both forward and back. "We can walk from here, it's not far until we reach Bananawa's main gate. The security shouldn't be too thick, so we can probably slip inside if we find an opening."

Rather than use Ace's plan to erase their names from the Bananawa databank, they had decided that it would be better to just destroy the databank altogether. Of course, this posed a few problems, because it would mean that they would have to get access to the main computer instead of hacking the system on one of the average modules interspersed throughout the building. It would also be a lot more conspicuous if the data were to suddenly disappear, because there was a big possibility that someone in the building would be linked to the main computer, and would notice when their hard-drive suddenly crashed, only to be re-booted a few minutes later with a suspicious amount of information missing.

"What happens if he calls the cops on us?" Luffy asked. Zoro nodded, he had been worried about that too.

"Would you call the cops on four dead people if you were the one who 'killed' them?" Ace asked.

"Good point…" Luffy replied.

"There it is." Smoker stated. They came up to the edge of a clearing. Twenty feet ahead of them was an over-sized fence with large "WARNING: HIGH VOLTAGE" signs posted every ten feet along the fence's side. Beyond the fence there were several security lights posted around the sides of a large stone building.

"Great, so how do we get inside now that we're here?" Zoro asked in a hushed tone, but Luffy had already taken off towards the fence.

"That's easy, we hop it!"

"Luffy wait, its high voltage, don't-" Luffy had grabbed onto the fence, but nothing happened. Zoro blinked.

"What, are the fences off then? You said there were guards, but they don't even turn the fence on?"

"Close, but not quite. If you grabbed the fence, you'd be fried." Smoker said. Zoro looked at him curiously. Ace grinned, looked at Smoker, then grinned again and broke into a run, heading strait for the fence. Smoker followed. They looked as if they were about to commit a double suicide, but just before they reached the fence they both leapt into the air. Turning into a pillar of smoke and fire, the two arced over the fence and re-materialized on the other side.

"Holy shit, holy shit! What the fucking hell was that?!" Zoro shouted. He had reflexively taken a step back, into the cover of the trees. "You just… just, exploded! What the hell are you? You're like some kind of mutant-"

"Genetically enhanced." Ace cut in. "We don't want to be called mutants just like you don't want to be called genetically inferior."

"Even if you are" Smoker mumbled. Ace elbowed him in the ribs. "I thought Robin had already explained this to you." He added, ignoring the glare Ace was giving him.

"Well yeah, but Robin's explanation had nothing on this. That was crazy." Zoro replied. Luffy had begun to scale the fence, and was now perched on the top, looking at him. "She told me you were mu- genetically enhanced, but she didn't tell me that there were wicked side effects like that." Luffy dropped down on the other side.

"Whoa, hey! How do I get over?" Zoro shouted, but they were already walking away.

"You don't." Smoker replied. Zoro was taken aback.

"Why not?!" He took a step forward, almost touched the fence, and then flinched back.

"We already decided that it was too risky for you to come with. You could die." Smoker stated bluntly.

"So you're just leaving me here?" Luffy looked away guiltily, then turned his back to him and walked away, Smoker and Ace in step with him. Zoro watched them walk away.

Avoiding the security lights, the three wove across the grounds, keeping to the shadows as much as possible. There were dreadfully few hiding places across the lot, and they took refuge in the looming moon shadow cast by the building. The night was not particularly cold, but there was a brisk breeze whistling through the air. It gave Luffy chills. They pressed themselves against the wall and inched around the side of the building. Several yards ahead of them was a door, although it was probably locked, it was a start. They edged towards the entrance. The door seemed fairly low-key, with a basic horizontal push-bar instead of a handle. Ace pushed the bar in, but it didn't unlatch.

"Now what?" Luffy asked. If they went any more in the direction they were going, they were bound to run into security. Ace pointed towards the roof.

"That's what I was thinking…" Smoker said. "Luffy, can you get us up there? It'd be less conspicuous than flames or smoke." Luffy nodded, and flung his arms up to the top of the building. Smoker and Ace latched on, and they glided up to the top. With a not-so-graceful landing, they stepped as silently as they could towards the single ventilation shaft on the other side of the roof. It was no more than four feet in diameter, and it angled down into darkness beyond the metal grate covering the opening. Smoker sifted through the bars and grabbed them from below. Ace cut through the bars with his hand, much like a mechanic would hold a welding torch. Before the removed grate could slip down into the shaft, causing a huge clamor, Smoker lifted it out of the vent and set it on the roof.

"Let's go." Smoker murmured. They dropped as silently as possible into the shaft. There was barely enough room for them to crawl, so they crept-edged-slid along the shaft until they reached a vent. It opened into a small, messy room with a cluttered desk in the corner. "I'll go in t first."

"Don't." Ace warned. "You might set off the smoke alarms."

"Well then what do I do?" Smoker asked impatiently.

"Unscrew the screws holding the grate on?" Luffy asked. Smoker grumbled. After several minutes of mumbling and swearing, the last screw popped loose and Smoker slid the grate aside. They dropped down into the room. As they were preparing themselves to leave, the door knob began to turn. Luffy shot Ace a frantic look, but Ace was focused intently as the door swept inward. No one was on the other side of the door. Luffy breathed a sigh of relief, but Smoker and Ace had already positioned themselves next to the door, ready for someone to burst in, guns blazing. After several seconds of silence, two black orbs were flung into the room. They exploded with a spray of pellets that ricocheted off the walls and forced the three to the floor without piercing the skin.

Struggling to get to his feet, Ace tried to use the wall for support, but failed. It felt as though his energy had been totally drained. Six men appeared in the doorway, dressed in uniforms embroidered with the Bananawa symbol; accept for one, who was dressed in the traditional monkey suit. Three men stepped forward to restrain Smoker, Ace, and Luffy, while two stood at attention at the doorway. The last man stood over them smugly.

"That was a wonderful display you put on at the gate." He noted sarcastically. "It's a good thing we had those cameras fastened to the vent so we could hear you three making your way through the vents." His smile widened. "Were you trying to _sneak _in? Well I suppose a couple stun grenades ended that plan, hmmm?" He chuckled ironically as the three men hoisted them to their feet, although they were being dragged more than actually walking. have been a normal stun grenade" Ace breathed, which cause the man to laugh harder. Ace made a mental note to rip this guy a new one.

"That's because it wasn't. Kairoseki, it's perfect for keeping you mutants in line." He grinned when he saw the reaction that came from the 'taboo' word. "A genius design, really. Not quite sure what's in it but it seems to zap your energy."

By now, the three really weren't paying attention, seeing as they were still surrounded by Kairoseki. He sighed. Gloating any more would be a waste of time. Besides, talk was cheap. He stepped aside and ordered the guards to take them to the lab. The three men obediently escorted them to the hall.

**Yes, there is such thing as a stun grenade, and yes they will use it on you if you commit a federal crime. Be afraid. I mean, any second now, they could throw one through your window just because you maybe could have committed a crime. And more likely than not, they'll get away with it! Wicked little weapons. D Review. For all those who haven't reviewed, review now. And for those who have already reviewed, review again, lest you be bombarded by stun grenades. Poor Zoro, ditched at the gate TT What will we come up with next, hmm**? **Oh and for those who are watching or have watched the Superbowl, Giants FTW! Who agrees? I grew up in NY so I gotta stick w/ my team. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Hahaha, teens. They can get away with almost anything just by acting awkward and out of their element. Adults are so quick to pity them, maybe because they think they know what they're going through? People could learn from these guys. –Nods solemnly- **

False Pretense 15

As the three walked away from him, Zoro considered hollering at them. He also considered throwing something. But no, both would probably be a bad idea, because there were still guards lurking somewhere around the property. So… Now what? Just wait like they wanted him to. Ha, right. Well, there's got to be another entrance.

Zoro walked back a few feet, so that he was more concealed by the brush, and began to follow the gate before he stopped. Of course, there was no possible way that he could _ever _get lost… but… just in case they came back, he grabbed up a stick from the ground and drew an arrow in the dirt. After he was satisfied with his arrow, he resumed walking. Although he was vaguely aware of how creepy the forest was, especially alone and at night, with all its creepy night sounds and eerie moon glow, Zoro trudged forward humming a tuneless song under his breath. Damn, this place would look like Frankenstein's castle if it was storming. Scratch that, it look's like Frankenstein's castle now.

Watching the 'castle' out of the corner of his eye and being absolutely certain that he didn't lose sight of the gate, Zoro told himself that he was not, in fact, speeding his pace, and that he'd been going this fast from the start. Yeah. Stepping over a fallen branch only to catch his foot on a root, Zoro stumbled, almost regained his composure, tripped again, and then fell.

He pushed himself up off the ground and sat on his knees, dusting his pants off and rubbing his now sore nose. He started to stand, and then realized exactly what he was looking at. A guard post. He'd been so preoccupied with the fact that he was alone that he had almost missed it.

From the looks of it, it was somewhat like a toll booth, with a guard posted at the side of the gate, fully attentive. He paused for a second and considered walking up the guard and saying that he was here to see a friend. But that was stupid, hello sir, I just walked some 10 miles just to visit a friend (who's name escapes me) and at 2 in the morning no less. Ya, that's believable. After another moment of contemplation, he figured that that was on the right track, but not quite on the spot, and turned back from where he came.

It took him about as long to get back as it did to get there in the first place, and Zoro jogged up to the Yukon and pulled open the driver's side door. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that the keys were still in the ignition. He slid inside, put the truck in reverse and backed out of the little refuge that he was parked in, before making his way down to the paved road that led to the guard's post. Collecting himself, he rolled down the window to meet the suspicious stare he was receiving from the guard. Mustering up his most awkward-yet-innocent teenage smile he put on an equally awkward attitude.

"I'm…uh… here about the job-offer-thing." He winced internally, that sounded so fake. There was no way this guy would buy this. True to suit the guard simply raised an eyebrow.

"You know, about the testing thing, getting paid to be tested on, right? I herd about it from a friend." He hoped that his nervousness would be passed off as a simple teenage I-need-this-money-so-please-hire-me attitude. After a moment the guard stepped back from the window.

"Oh, that. You can go on in then…" Zoro smiled gratefully as the gates opened.

"Thanks" with that he drove in and parked in the lot. He briskly walked to the doors and pushed into the room. Inside he was met by lifeless concrete floors with one florescent bulb in the center of the room. Or, that was what he expected, but was instead met by bright décor and a bored looking receptionist. She only glanced up then waved him into another room, having apparently already been warned of his presence.

Zoro sat down on a stiff sofa and glanced nervously around the room as if he would be caught any moment. After a few second of nervous fidgeting he walked over to a soda machine sitting in the corner. He contemplated whether to get Coke or Pepsi, and decided to get both. He slipped the coke in to the pocket of his sweatshirt and was about to pop the tab of the Pepsi when a stark looking man in a lab coat walked into the room and met his with a smile.

"Would you come with me to my office, please?" Zoro shrugged casually and slipped the Pepsi into his pocket as well. He followed the man down a white hallway, passing various doorways, most open, some closed. When they rounded a corner Zoro instantly noted a strange doorway with a sign that read "No entry: Authorized personnel only". It was slightly ajar. Once the man he was following had passed it he calmly walked up and peeked around the doorway.

"What are you doing!" Zoro jumped then guiltily backed away from the door.

"I…er, was just…"

"Can't you read?" he demanded.

"Yes, but…I'm…I…er, was just, yunno….with the door and it was…uh…all in good fun? I'm sorry." he stammered out, knowing full and well that it was not in good fun. The man looked at him for a moment then sighed.

"I suppose its no problem, that's just a boiler room anyway. Besides, they need to keep this door closed anyway." He turned and led the way into a room at the end of the hall. As they neared the end of the hallway, five men rushed past them back in the direction the two had come. Zoro watched them with interest then turned to the man in front of him.

"Where's the fire?" the orderly stopped in his tracks and then resumed his pace as if he had never been stopped.

"We found of couple of kids trespassing of the property. Its nothing to be worried about, but we take security seriously around here" 'Because you have something to hide' Zoro thought as he was lead through a doorway.

The man's office was somewhat small, but still held a pair of chairs and a desk. He offered for Zoro to sit and then took a seat as well. "All right… we just need to handle a few things. One second" he held up a finger while he rifled through his drawers. After pulling out a few papers he sat up in his seat again. "All right, first off…I need a name?"

Zoro paused, searching frantically for an answer before hesitantly answering. "Well, I was told that it would remain…anonymous…I don't want my parents to find out." the man nodded knowingly.

"Well, we get that a lot." He scribbled on a sheet of paper. "Next, are you willing to keep room and board in the building for a few weeks?"

"Is it free?" the man laughed and nodded. "Well then yes, I am."

"That will be great then, now if you'll just wait a few moments, I'll be back"

"Whoa, so that's it?" he asked as sincerely as possible.

"That's it." He smiled, which was by this time getting sort of annoying, then dismissed himself from the room. Once Zoro was sure he was gone he walked over to the desk and grabbed the papers, stuffed them into his jean pocket. He also frantically opened the drawers on the man's desk, and then walked over to the coat hanging on the man's chair. Triumphantly, he withdrew what he was looking for: keys; then bolted down the hall to the room he had seen earlier. One thing was sure, that wasn't a boiler room. He'd gotten a glimpse of what looked like a hallway, which made it all the more suspicious when the man had lied to him.

Zoro tried the door and found it locked. Damn, that was quick. He didn't even know what key to use. He had to try seven different keys before he found the right one, oh well, it was lucky the guy even _had_ the keys. He pulled the door open a crack, peered in, found the hallway empty, and stepped inside. He pulled the door shut behind him. There were doors on either side of the hall. A lot of doors, actually. Where to start? He opened the nearest door, stuck his head inside, and called out the names of his three companions in a quiet, sing-songy voice. Not in there. He shut the door and moved on to the next… and the next… and the next, until he'd made his way through the entire hall, and come to the last doorway, at the end of the hall. Very dramatic, very big. Seemed like the kind of door you would fling open haughtily and announce "I, have arrived".

He opened the door every-so slightly and peered inside, checking to see if a dramatic entrance would get him in trouble. He pushed the door open the rest of the way with a shocked look on his face. In the room, stacked on top of each other, were what looked like hundreds of cages. The people inside the cages were shouting already, but when they saw him, the volume of their voices doubled. Zoro quickly shut the door, afraid the noise would carry out into the adjacent hall. The sight was terrible; they were being treated like lab rats. Human size lab rats.

**Oh what a twist! Well folks, assuming that Zoro doesn't end up getting himself killed, he has a promising career as an actor… yes, I'm kidding. Review and Zoro will give you his Pepsi! He only needs one soda anyway! D**


	16. Chapter 16

**Arrogance and stupidity- a deadly combination; my ultimate pet-peeve. I honestly think these two combined is the absolute worst personality someone could muster.**

**Also, for anyone who cares, were updating this early because of two reasons. 1) We've finished the story and will now be updating in response to reviews. 2) We're changing our pen name to TheDoublemintTwins, or something close to that. Just letting you know, so if you can't find zoroluvah22… that's why. **

False Pretense 16

For a moment, Zoro stood looking at the columns of cells stacked on top of each other. They really were like lab rats. The room was vast, with at least five rows of cells, each containing at least 20 cells. Like the hallways, the entire room was white, while linoleum floors, white walls, and glaring florescent lights on the ceilings. Each cell held one person and, by now, nearly every person in the room knew of his existence. Somehow, they also knew that he wasn't an orderly. The cacophony of voices that had been yelling before he came into the room was now directed towards him. It seemed that even those who couldn't see him were begging for his assistance. Somewhere in this room, he figured, would be his friends.

Zoro started forward, down the first row, completely ignoring the people who were screaming at him. He scanned the first row, up and down each column. Something about this room was suffocating, and Zoro picked up his pace. He noted that each cell required a five number code to open it instead of a key. Somehow, that method struck him as inefficient. Especially considering that there would be about five arms at all times grabbing at their clothes and hair at all times while they worked. Once to the end of the row, he started with the second row. But before turning the corner, he stopped and stared inquisitively at a fixed ladder on the side of one of the cells.

It was only a moment later that he noticed something else that was strange. There were cells stacked on top of each other. Obviously, this meant that someone had to be on the top. Along each level of cells, there was an individual catwalk, but it didn't look like there was any way to get to the different levels, he assumed that was what the ladder was for. He considered climbing up the ladder to get a look at the catwalks, but realizing that he was getting off track, he quickly rushed to the next row of cells.

Around the corner, in the third row of cells, Zoro scanned the rows to the right quickly. Then he scanned the rows to the left, but he didn't see anyone he knew, so he continued down the row. He continued looking left and right as he jogged down the rows, although he still hadn't seen anyone he even thought he knew, which probably meant that he was in the wrong row. Or room, for that matter, for all he knew they could be on the other side of the building, or no longer in the building at all. Just as he was about to turn the corner, something hit him on the neck, causing him to stumble, because it had been thrown with considerable force. Rubbing the sore spot, he turned with an irritated expression and saw the shoe that had been thrown at him. Then he looked for whoever had thrown it.

"Look up! Up! Where the hell do you THINK it came from?" Despite the attempt to shout, the voice was almost swallowed by the people who insisted on screaming. In the row of cells Zoro had just passed he spotted Smoker on the second level, sporting one shoe. He looked about ready to sacrifice his second shoe for the sake of smacking Zoro again. Zoro looked up at him, intentionally met his eyes, then turn away out of spite, as if he hadn't seen him at all. That second shoe hurt like a bitch, but he ignored it and kept walking. At the last minute, just when it looked like he would turn the corner, Zoro latched onto the ladder and pulled himself up. He walked down to the cell that Smoker was in with a deliberately slow pace, just to piss him off. When he finally did make his way down there Smoker was giving him the death glare of a lifetime.

"This is not time to be fooling around. Open the damn cage!" he snapped. "Those assholes could be back any second and you're messing around."

"Ok, ok jeez…" he sighed then looked up with sudden interest, "hey, where's Ace and Luffy?"

Smoker motioned up and to the left. "up there, I think he's asleep."

"Asleep?"

"Narcoleptic."

"Oh…what about Luffy?" Smoker shrugged then pointed towards the wall behind him.

"Back there I would assume, but that doesn't matter! First-things-first, open the damn cell!" Smoker yelled, trying to compete with the surrounding noise.

"Well, why don't you just, I dunno, poof out?" Zoro asked bluntly.

"Poof out? Ok first off, I don't poof. Never in my life have I poofed. And second, if I could, I would have done it by now. There's something weird about the metal the bars are made from. It negates our abilities. I suppose that since this is where they first started the experiments, they had to find a way to keep it under control" he nodded to the keypad "Try that." For a second Zoro stared at the screen, then punched in a few keys and shook his head.

"No good, I need a keycard or something…" he frowned then turned to the door that he hadn't come through. "Maybe if I go through there…"

Smoker followed his gaze and gave him a quick nod of approval. The door was on the other side of the room, opposite the door he came in through. Zoro climbed down that ladder and crossed the room quickly. He reached for the knob, and then stopped. If there was another person on the other side of the door, he would be caught immediately if he just burst through. He turned the knob, slowly and quietly, and waited. After a moment, he pulled the door open, just enough to peer through to the other side.

The door flung open and hit Zoro in the face with a definite crack. Strutting into the room with a cocky air, hands folded neatly behind his back, he glanced over to see what had acted as a doorstop in his, magnificent entry. The man looked startled, if not frightened at the sight of Zoro, who was sitting on the floor, clutching his face and looking dazed. The officer swiftly clamped a metal band around his wrist, which locked in place with a click satisfying enough to make all worry disappear from his face. He stepped back with a satisfied smirk. His sunglasses flashed from the glare of the florescent lights as he grinned down at where Zoro was still holding his face.

"I've no idea how you got out, mutant, but I suppose that's what you get for trying to escape." He sneered. Zoro sat up and all traces of a smile vanished from his lips.

"I think they prefer the term genetically enhanced…" Zoro rose to his feet, examining the band that the 'good doctor' had snapped to his wrist. The man stood for a second more staring at Zoro in disbelief before trying to fling the door open and return from where he had come, but Zoro stuck his foot in front of the door and slammed it shut again. He then took off in a mad dash through the room and towards the last, unexplored row of cells, with Zoro hot on his heels. Zoro, vaguely aware that the inmates were cheering him on, pushed himself harder, knowing that if the man escaped, he'd be caught, and this man could also have a keycard. He looked important enough.

When he was about five feet behind him, Zoro figured he'd take a chance as opposed to letting him escape. He dove, and everyone cheered as his hand clamped around the man's ankle and he came flying towards the ground. A mixture of inertia and gravity did the rest and Zoro was soon holding the ankle of an unconscious man. The room was now roaring louder than ever. Zoro quickly stripped the man of his jacket. The pockets were empty. He checked his front pants pockets, and found a wallet; the man's name was… Ronald Lindt. What a dumb name. He flipped through the credit cards, the ID cards, and a few photos before he found a blank silver card with a magnetic strip.

He pulled it out and set if aside before continuing his search. After finding nothing of interest, Zoro grabbed up the card and started to walk to the end of the isle before he was stuck by a thought. Grabbing Lindt by the ankles, he dragged him down the row. If he left him there, on the floor, he could wake up and call someone, and Zoro would be caught… so, he would just swap cells with Smoker. Almost to the end of the row, Zoro heard someone call out his name. He turned to see Luffy, as close to the bars as possible without touching them, grinning like a maniac. A look of relief spread across Zoro's face.

"Luffy! Thank God!" He dropped Lindt and rushed over to the cell.

"Zoro, you shouldn't have come. I mean I'm glad you came, but still…" Zoro shook his head while fishing around in his pocket.

"Too late now. Anyway, let's just hope this card works." He held it up for Luffy to see before slipping it through the slot and grinned when the screen lit up. Punching a few characters into the keypad, he frowned when the combination didn't work, and then tried another one. After about a minute of punching in combinations, and then trying a new one, the computer finally stalled, connected, and with a rattle of the tumblers, the door swung open.

"Yes! It worked!" Zoro pumped his fist into the air as Luffy jumped out. "Let's go get Smoker and Ace… but first…" Zoro shot a sly look Lindt's way."

**Guess what? I stole Lindt's name from a German chocolate-maker. Inventor of the first rapid-melting chocolate, Dr. Rodolphe Lindt. Haha, I'm reading this from the back of a bag of truffles. Dunno, I thought that was worth mentioning. Please review, I have truffles! –Waves bag-**


	17. Chapter 17

**I really think the end of the story will be coming up quickly, or at least, the place we plan on cutting it off at. We might make a sequel, or just pick up the story again since there's so much to do with this plot, but we'll see! Anyway, review now, ok? Cause soon there won't be anything more to review to…**

False Pretense 17

When Lindt came around he sat up as if he were suffering from the biggest hangover of his life and awkwardly stared into the glare of the lights. It was then, that he realized that he wasn't look at one of the cells, he was in one. Startled he sat up, felt of wave of nausea pass over him then notice that a couple of snotty teenagers were sneering at him from the other side.

"What the hell do you want?" He snapped, still as arrogant as before, even though he was completely screwed over and he knew it.

"Information" The younger one stated bluntly, as he changed positions from sitting on his haunches to Indian-style, 'as if he were going to be here for a while' Lindt though scornfully. He put on a very resolute face.

"I'll tell you _nothing_."

The other teen smiled, well, smirked.

"You sure?" they made eye contact and held it, but said nothing more. Ronald nodded once to make his point. Zoro fixed his gaze on the man in front of him for a moment more before adding: "We need to know where the master computer is, and how to access it." Lindt shook his head.

"There is no master computer…"

"Quit bullshitting us! We know that there is, and don't try to convince us otherwise. First off there has to be a way to operate all these cells without manually unlocking them one-by-one…"

"And second," Luffy cut in, "We know that there's a computer where all the information on your sick little 'experiments' is held." Lindt remained passive, completely ignoring the interrogation. The only tell-tale sign of nervousness was his refusal to make further eye contact. Zoro turned to Luffy as if the mans co-operation wasn't really all that important to him.

"Come-on Luffy, lets just go let Smoker and Ace out, then we can get out of here and let this guy take the fall for letting us escape." He eyed Lindt conspicuously, "Or…maybe we should lock him up with one of these guys" He made a sweeping motion, and all the cells around him either chuckled or screamed."

"Sounds like a plan" Luffy said turning to Lindt, who didn't seem to believe them until Luffy studied the surrounding cells, then chose a particularly burly and outright angry looking man and held the keycard up to his cells keypad.

"Wait, wait, and wait! You're joking right?" Luffy turned.

"Well, that depends. Tell us what we want to know, and we won't do jack." From behind the bars, he looked indecisive for a moment, glanced furtively at the door, almost like he expected someone to jump out a scream "ha-ha! I was just testing you're loyalty and you failed" but no, no one jumped out with a interesting and potentially delightful surprise and the room remained as chaotic as it had been all night. Instead of fessing up, he decided instead to attempt to call the bluff.

"Ya, right. You wouldn't even be able to open that door, because you don't have the combination!" Luffy raised his eyebrows and nodded.

"Ya that's true, I couldn't but he could." He motioned to Zoro. "My friend here is very good with computers. It's like a sixth sense or something. Like we said before, enough with the bullshitting. Just tell us what we want to know, and we'll let you out. Is that so hard? I really don't think so…so what do you say?" Luffy was leaning pretty hard on him now, which could be good or bad on the right side, he could crack under the pressure and spill everything, or, consequently, he may just clam up completely. And that would suck.

He glanced nervously from one to another, avoiding eye contact and averting his gaze when they did make eye contact.

"Ok…I'll tell you, but then you gotta let me out." Zoro nodded and Luffy smiled. "You need to go through that door and down the hall, to Mr. Zero's office, third on the right. There's a file, probably on a floppy but I've never seen it before, that will open all the cells at once. You just slip it into that stray keypad" he pointed to the far wall and, sure enough there it was, "then punch in the code, which I don't know. But if your friend is as good as you say, it should be no problem, right?" Zoro nodded and started for the door, then passed the keycard to Luffy.

"You let them out; I'll go get the file." Luffy half-caught it, fumbled, regained his composure and nodded an agreement. Zoro started for the door, even had his hand closed around the knob without hesitation (considering his previous failure due to caution) before the door was flung open in an I-have-arrived manner and whacked him in the face once again. Bad luck with doors. A tall man strode into the room, and appeared shocked to say the least to see Luffy standing in front of him. Apparently, Zoro had gone unnoticed. The man behind the cell door called out the name, Mr. Zero, which was surprising to say the least. Zoro'd expected mob-boss-look but this guy literally _looked_ like a mob boss. Black hair slicked back with way to much gel, a cigar pinched between his teeth, even a scar across the bridge of his nose, and what was that, a _hook_? Zoro almost laughed at the irony of the queer stereotypical situation, but suppressed it in favor of remaining unnoticed.

He glanced at Luffy who seemed to be hinting that Zoro should slip away while he exchanged somewhat of a half-dialogue with the man. Zoro slipped past the two and down the hall, their words lost to him completely. He was about ten feet down the hall when the other noticed him, and turned just in time for him to see said man lunge at him, much quicker than a normal person should have been able to. Whoa, that definitely wasn't normal, not just the speed, but the fact that this guy, from the waist down, had completely turned into sand. He heard Luffy shout, and felt the hook on Zero's right hand pierce fabric, then nothing but the sensation of warm liquid spraying out quite uncharacteristically in a stream and then running down his legs and onto the floor. He stepped back, suddenly afraid for his life, before realizing just what had happened. The hook had gone through his sweatshirt and hit the can of soda that still sat in his pocket, shaken from the little game of cat-and-mouse he had played with Lindt earlier.

Mr. Zero had changed back to normal, but still seemed determined to finish Zoro off. Before he could, however, two long arms latched themselves around his waist and sent him flying towards one of the columns of cells. Zoro, of course, didn't stay to watch and quickly ran down the hall to find Mr. Zero's office. Wasn't much trouble, since there were a pair of out-of-place double doors and the words Mr. and Zero fixed above it.

He pushed his way in and screamed internally in frustration at the huge, and very cluttered, room. He rushed over to the desk and began digging through drawers, searching for something, anything, that looked like it _may _be what he wanted, but to no avail. He switched to a cabinet against the far wall, and dug up similar results.

Most of the clutter was files and documents, even a few sheets of some kind of analysis. He scrapped that idea and moved over to the tables against the wall, and found some floppy discs there. Score. He moved over to the computer and turned it on. When the disc was popped, nothing came up. Blank, Dammit. He reached for the power button, then stopped and clicked on an icon in the bottom left corner, just above the recycle bin. When it did come up, it didn't make much sense. The page was filled with an uncountable amount of Basic, interestingly enough, and it was the best he had. Quickly he copied the program onto the floppy that was still in the drive, and then gave the room one more quick check. He paused for a minute to look at an interesting painting on the wall that was, essentially a chain of numbers in fancy patterns. He took one last look before hurrying down the hall to make sure that Luffy was O.K.

When Zero first opened that door Luffy's first thought was whether or not Zoro would be able to get past him. The natural thing to do when creating a distraction was chat away, all the while making surreptitious notions to your partner. And that's what he did, eyeing Zoro in a way that didn't let Crocodile know that he was watching someone behind him. He made something up on the spot, calling him a monster for doing things like this and claiming he would kick his ass.

But then everything turned sour, he accidentally glanced after Zoro, and Mr. Zero saw the motion. A second too late, he yelled the warning, and his heart stopped completely when he saw the sheen of the hook disappear in the material of Zoro's sweatshirt. With a gasp of relief, he took in what had actually happened, only half wondering where Zoro had gotten whatever it was that the hook had hit.

He grabbed the slick-haired man around the waist and hurled him against the wall. Shutting the door after Zoro, he turned to a very angry Croc and got ready for a fight. Everyone knew that water, well liquids in general, was his weakness, and that advantage just might make up for his lack of experience and, ultimately, power. Croc stood, easily enough, and Luffy threw another punch, with similar results. Again, Croc stood, unfazed then lashed out before Luffy could go for a third attack. A stream of sand glided through the room and flung Luffy into the bars of one of the cages. All the energy left him immediately, and he fell to the floor. Now being released from their grasp, Luffy started to regain himself somewhat before Crocodile once again lashed out and flung him against a wall this time. He regain his composure quicker than before, and tried to kick his attacker only to have his foot sift through a pile of sand and snap back into place.

This time when the whip of sand came towards him, he was able to doge, but only somewhat and one edge of it caught him on the side. He was sent crashing to the ground, and rolled out of the way just in time to avoid a potentially fatal attack. He was aware of Crocodile's laughing, and the many inmates who were screaming obscenities and maybe even encouragement, but he was concentrating, more than anything else, on trying to come up with a plan to get out of this situation. No matter how you saw it, things didn't look good. There was no way he could get someone out of a cell fast enough to have reinforcements without his opponent interfering, and there really wasn't anywhere to run to either. Croc attacked once, then again and finally landed a hit on the third, which sent Luffy spiraling into a wall. He laughed.

"Honestly, boy, there's no way you can beat me. I'll just put you back where you belong and then go take care of that nosy friend of yours, just like I did your parents. I suppose I underestimated you in the respect that you escaped from you're cells, but then I never figured that you would have a normal person here to back you up. Security will be increased, that's for sure." He shook his head as if disappointed in himself, then turned back towards Luffy. He froze and Croc continued, "Those worthless, normal, people. They're worth nothing more than test subjects, but I've already perfected everything and soon I'll be able to control my army of genetically superior humans. All those worthless fools deserve to be wiped out, and I'll be the one to do it." Luffy looked up in shock, completely ignoring what he thought was someone- Ace?- screaming at him to keep his cool, and then leapt toward the man in a fit of rage. He landed one solid blow to the wet spot on the abdomen of the mans shirt that came from Zoro's exploded soda, before being tossed aside and crushed under a well placed shoe. Croc smiled cunningly and sighed.

"I was going to spare you, but I suppose I'll just have to kill both you and your friend as well. this can be an example for everyone, to see what happens when I am crossed" the weight shifted under his foot, but he remained under control, "It's too bad…an entire room filled with people who could help you, and you're all alone. It seems even you friend has abandoned you." He reached below his belt and withdrew a switchblade, then bent over and grabbed the gun that Luffy was holding from out of its holster.

"I know that your ability makes you impervious to bullets, but also vulnerable to blades." He was twiddling the knife between his fingers, which made Luffy squirm more, but he couldn't seem to get free. "Sea stone. Isn't it ironic that it's not even an inch below my feet and yet I'm not affected?" He gripped the knife in a more threatening manner, and hunched down lower to the ground. "Let's finish this shall we?" He pulled back almost ready to strike when a loud and unanimous crack, that should have been but a click, but multiplied by one hundred as every latch in the room popped free turned it into a much stronger sound, distracted him. He looked up in time to see the cell doors hanging open and that stupid brat from before standing by the master keypad looking rather proud of himself.

When Zoro saw the furious look on Zero's face, he knew what would be next, but by God it was too late to do anything about it. _Too bad_, Zoro thought as the man raised the gun in his hand and fired once, twice, again. After which he disappeared into a cloud of sand and sifted into the vents, out of harms way, the gun clattered to the floor in his wake. Many of the inmates were out of their cells now, or at least, the ones who weren't dead, physically or emotionally. They were running through doorways, disappearing into plumes of dust or leaves, shimmering away completely, shifting into a different form and escaping that way or simply running out the doorways, screaming as if this were the best days of their lives.

All but three completely ignored the teen that essentially saved them all, and had crumpled to the floor like wet origami. He smiled up at them, feeling nothing and trying his best to act like he wasn't scared at all. His vision blurred; he started to wish that he hadn't even gotten caught up in this whole ordeal and then he knew no more.

**I really don't like the quality of this story, and there's a lot that is left unexplained(and I'm not sure it ever will be explained) but I've resolved to never drop a story no matter how bad it turns out, so I'm gonna keep with it. I think that the biggest flaw was that I updated too quickly, without revising the chapters enough, and I'm only now seeing some pretty big holes in the plot. A few of you have noticed as well, but if I get anything out of this story, it's going to be just that.**

**Revision is key; don't rush into things, because you're going to miss something.**


	18. Chapter 18

False Pretense 18— The Aftermath

**Three Months Later**

"Tanner, package for you. I'll leave it here by the door." The landlord's daughter was a kind lady, unlike her dad, who absolutely hated Tanner Hawley—aka, Monkey D. Luffy— just because he happened to be a little late on his rent payment… okay really late, but regardless! Money is no reason to be mean. Luffy pulled open the door and kicked the package inside, because his hands were full (can't leave our lunch on the table for the slightest amount of time, lest something happens to it) and it wasn't labeled fragile anyway.

He kicked it across the room, and it came to rest next to the bed, where Thomas Jacobsen—aka, Roronoa Zoro— was laying, watching television. They had both assumed the most common names they could think of, so as to make it harder to track them. They weren't sure who would be tracking them, but they weren't sure last time, either. Zoro slid a hand under the package and propped it up so that he could read the return address.

"It's a package from… Usopp. Hmm, it's probably that article he wrote about Bananawa. I wonder why it's so thick. How many rough copies did he write… no, better, how much of it is true?" Luffy laughed. For the last three months, after Zoro was released from the hospital, the two had been living under false names in the largest apartment complex they could find. Ace had recommended it to them after they had refused his offer to stay at the new, re-established HQ, which now housed almost half the people who had been freed three months ago. The rest, along with Zero and his most faithful followers, had utterly vanished, and hadn't been heard from since. Bananawani HQ burned down about an hour after the last of them had escaped, Ace swore on his own grave that it wasn't him, and there was reason to believe that Crocodile had done it in order to attempt to cover up his own tracks. It certainly didn't work out as planned, thanks to Usopp.

Usopp, who can't write a story without extreme action and drama (whether it be truth or fiction) was perfect to cover this story, although he had left out any and all parts relating to Luffy and Zoro—much to his dismay— because it would cause more hurt to them than good. Still, exposing the county's largest research lab to be testing on humans was dramatic enough, and his intimate knowledge (given to him from a direct source) had gotten him a promotion and the nice office he always wanted. And, it ensure that Zero would never be able to work openly again, considering he had committed 'heinous crimes against humanity' as Usopp wrote it.

Luffy walked over to lie down next to Zoro, now that he had finished his lunch. To him, it felt like it was years ago that they confronted Crocodile. Of course, it wasn't over. He was still out there, somewhere. Whether he was plotting or not, Luffy couldn't know, but he had a feeling that, for now, everything would be all right. Of course, when you're living in a world of false pretense, its best to expect the unexpected and enjoy what little time you have.

**Man, corny ending. Sorry bout that, it's just that we sort of want to give some other stories a try. That and, this seems like it is a good-ish place to stop for now at least. We could do a sequel with it all cliffy-ish like this, but that'd be on request soooo one final review, just for us? Tell us if you want us to continue. If not, that's cool, we might do one anyway…**


End file.
